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Candice, As an aside, thank you for this idea, so brilliantly simple, and yet so utterly elusive before I saw your post. I have a long piece written in response to Louise Gluck's 'Nurse's song'. Begun as an academic exercise, it took off on its own so far I can't quite believe I wrote it (neither could my tutor :-). Thanks to you, I can now see how to both sever and acknowledge the tie. Great! Cindy ----- Original Message ----- From: "MC Ward" <[log in to unmask]> To: <[log in to unmask]> Sent: Thursday, April 12, 2007 7:15 AM Subject: Re: Snap - The Spider > One possibility that occurs to me is to use the Plath > line (or two) as an epigraph and thereby acknowledge > the similarity and make it work for you by way of the > "air"/"wear" rhyme that would then frame the poem. > That way you point up the relationship of your > poem/line to Plath's, but without altering your own > poem/line to allude to Plath's. Would that do? (To > tell you the truth, though, I really don't think your > echo of the Plath line is plagiarism. It certainly > didn't occur to me, even as an echo, when I read your > stunning last line. Now I think you might want to make > the slight allusion a framing rhyme for the poem as a > whole.) Hope this is helpful-- > > Candice > > > > --- Caleb Cluff <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > >> Thank you everyone for your considered, deep >> replies, and Doug's >> generous rewrite. But now I have an enormous >> problem, per Kasper's >> reading and Candice's attention. That is, I >> recognise that the final >> line >> >> 'I will give you my last skin to wear, to wear, to >> wear.' >> >> is altogether too close to Plath's >> >> 'and live in Majorca on air, on air.' >> >> for my liking. It may be a subconscious allusion, as >> I haven't read the >> poem (the title escapes me) or indeed Plath, for a >> very long time. But >> as soon as the seed was planted, I knew I'd >> plagiarised the rhythm. >> >> Comments? It makes me feel so disappointed, as I >> thought the work had >> some directions for me to work toward, and now? It >> feels not entirely >> mine. >> >> Caleb >> >> >> >> -----Original Message----- >> From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics >> [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On >> Behalf Of andrew burke >> Sent: Thursday, 12 April 2007 9:06 AM >> To: [log in to unmask] >> Subject: Re: Snap - The Spider >> >> Wow, I liked the poem, yes, but I qalso like the >> enthusiasm shown by >> other members. A great list of listeners! >> >> Andrew >> >> On 12/04/07, Stephen Vincent <[log in to unmask]> >> wrote: >> > The spider is sudden, like a vowel. >> > >> > Maybe part of the 'frisson' here is that "vowels" >> normally do not >> speed >> > things up (as in "sudden") but, more often than >> not, slow down and >> pace the >> > stream of consonants. So there might be a lovely - >> sleight of hand - >> > contradiction that you have managed to employ, >> Caleb. Thought the "e" >> in >> > your name is pretty quick in comparison to the "a" >> - a "sudden" >> realization, >> > I see! >> > >> > Stephen V >> > http://stephenvincent.net/blog/ >> > >> > >> > >> > > Totally agree with Stephen Caleb: what an >> opening line. >> > > >> > > And the ongoing perceptual understanding... >> > > >> > > Doug >> > > On 10-Apr-07, at 10:54 PM, Stephen Vincent >> wrote: >> > > >> > >> The spider is sudden, like a vowel. >> > >> >> > >> That alone is a great line, Caleb! >> > >> I have met the spider and I have met the vowel >> > >> but to get together at the same time >> > >> Rips! >> > >> >> > >> Stephen V >> > >> http://stephenvincent.net/blog/ >> > >> >> > >> >> > >> >> > >> >> > > Douglas Barbour >> > > 11655 - 72 Avenue NW >> > > Edmonton Ab T6G 0B9 >> > > (780) 436 3320 >> > > http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/ >> > > >> > > Latest book: Continuations (with Sheila E >> Murphy) >> > > >> http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=664 >> > > >> > > >> > > lipsynching awe all the way to the grave of the >> unknown onus: >> > > memory stutter; one smidgen, one scantling of >> thank. >> > > >> > > Dennis Lee >> > >> >> >> -- >> Andrew >> http://hispirits.blogspot.com/ >> http://www.inblogs.net/hispirits >> http://www.flickr.com/photos/aburke/ >> >> >> > ============================================================================== >> The information contained in this email and any >> attachment is confidential and >> may contain legally privileged or copyright >> material. 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