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nice poem, roger. but it's not mine. On 4/8/07, Roger Day <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > > how about this? > > Stepping into the morning > waxwing symphonies and crow concertos > air shivering, air trembling > sandman cacophony crowding out the daylight > ... why do we enter the future > with the past in our deep night pockets > > although you may not want to go that far ... > > On 4/6/07, sharon brogan <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > > thank you all for your critiques on this piece. here is a revision, > which i > > think is an improvement. i agree with andrew that it would be good to > take > > the "I" from the first line, but can't see a way just yet: > > > > > > I stepped from my house this morning, > > head crowded with voices from dreams, > > into shivering air, trembling air, symphonies > > of waxwings and robins, a percussion > > of crows ... Why do we enter the future > > with the past in our night pockets? Trees > > shook with squirrel passions; goldfish > > drifted from the pond's dark bottom > > into pale water. At dusk the mountains > > were scarved with mist. > > > > > > > > On 4/4/07, sharon brogan <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > > > > > > I stepped from my house this morning, > > > head crowded with voices from dreams, > > > into shivering air, trembling air, symphonies > > > of waxwings and robins, a percussion > > > of crows ... Why do we enter the future > > > with the past in our night pockets? Trees > > > shook with squirrel passions; goldfish > > > drifted from the pond's dark bottom > > > up into pale water, reacquainting themselves > > > with the surface. The day passed slowly. > > > At dusk the mountains were scarved with mist. > > > > > > <http://www.sbpoet.com> > > > > > > > > > > -- > > ~ SB =^..^= > > > > http://www.sbpoet.com > > > > > -- > My Stuff: http://www.badstep.net/ > "Patriotism is a virtue of the vicious." Oscar Wilde > -- ~ SB =^..^= http://www.sbpoet.com