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I'm being particularly thick this evening, but I can't work out who
the poet is addressing here. I have thought of God, Australia, a
lover, ... I dunno. Maybe it doesn't matter: maybe it the angry energy
that is the 'point' of the poem. I do feel that saying 'unspeakable
name' twice weakens it - It has more power if you just use it once. &
I'd drop the second verse because too many unspeakables in that
line-broken way becomes a gimmick if used too often.

I wouldn't be saying this if I didn't think the poem had legs. (It may
even have balls.)

Good to hear from you, JJ. I can hear your voice saying this one :-)

Andrew


On 03/12/06, Janet Jackson <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> A bit of a rant, this one
> Janet
>
>        Un/speak/able
>
>        With what's left of my face after you
>        have finished with it, your sun
>        melted it, your shocks and switches
>        scoured and scarified it, your challenges
>        chopped and chiselled it, your licks and lays
>        licked and lavaged it,
>        ravaged it with your un
>        speak
>        able ways
>
>        with un
>        speak
>        able devotion, un
>        speak
>        able elation, elevation, libation, translation
>
>        with whatever skin I still have,
>        whatever still works in my eyes,
>        whatever screams I have left,
>        with all my remaining teeth,
>        with a ton of drop-forged belief,
>        with spider veins in my cheeks
>        and enough flesh for one kiss
>        in the thin ghosts of my lips
>        I will finally speak your name.
>
>        When you can see all of me,
>        when you can hear all of me,
>        when all the red things, sad things,
>        good and bad things inside me
>        no longer divide me from you
>        I will finally, at last, in ecstasy speak
>        your name, your name, your name, your un
>        speak
>        able name.
>
>        Throw off all fakery and surgery,
>        present your name in the city,
>        howl it in what's left of the country,
>        throw it all over the Net.
>        With every note left in my mouth I will,
>        I will, I will speak
>        your un
>        speak
>        able name.
>
> -------------------------------------------------------
> Janet Jackson <[log in to unmask]>
> Poems at Proximity:
> http://www.proximity.webhop.net
>
> You cannot love alone
> -------------------------------------------------------
>


-- 
Andrew
http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
http://www.bam.com.au/andrew