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Andrew, I love this. But I'm bothered by just one word, and that is "lady". Which she clearly isn't, and the more real and true for that. Lady is a social construct; ladies school their body language according to conventions which would be totally irrelevant here. What she is is a woman, as your entire poem so beautifully acknowledges And many, many congratulations on your PhD! very best joanna ----- Original Message ----- From: "andrew burke" <[log in to unmask]> To: <[log in to unmask]> Sent: Wednesday, October 11, 2006 7:06 AM Subject: Flaw in the Snap Sorry! I used 'passed' and not 'past' in my Sweeping Lady poem. Corrected version follows. Any comments to make the poem better would be appreciated. Sweeping Lady of Tiayuan … shape of those bent shoulders and the entire body language speaks of resignation this lady sweeping leaves away under a weeping tree as tourists by the hundred walk past her, not noticing her, staring at fading buildings, weathered sculptures of wood and stone. She is breathing on earth the same air as they, but working now, sweeping leaves … Holy holy holy her autumn breath, holy her work among the trees, holy her head more than ceilings of temples, her arms more holy than a winding dragon, her visage than the warrior's metal face. -- Andrew http://hispirits.blogspot.com/ http://www.bam.com.au/andrew