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I think it's good as a spontaneous array of the senses, it's uncut but it NEEDS to be because it's about the immediate & the surrounding. not that it can't do with an edit (the transition of senses at the beginning of each stanza is good, but could be eased); but the feeling of unstoppable sensing should remain, I say. KS On 30/08/06, andrew burke <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > Thanks, Stephen and Kasper - 'very fluid writing' indeed: I wrote as > fast as I could type. (Sorry about 'horms' for 'horns'.) I read it > this morning - it is accurate, but it ain't a good poem. Maybe if I > ... > > Andrew >