 |
 |
Actually, it seems to be based on the pentameter, with prosy flattening as in the 2nd line, which is not inappropriate. I don't understand "uprouted" or the awkwardness of the next line; the shifting levels of discourse combined with the recurrent iambic beat have something hypnotic. As a snap (not a finished painting) it's quite suggestive. mjay David Bircumshaw wrote: >Prose. > > >----- Original Message ----- >From: "Lawrence Upton" <[log in to unmask]> >To: <[log in to unmask]> >Sent: Tuesday, May 23, 2006 11:55 AM >Subject: Snap > > >Is there a river here? It's not nearby. >The land's been flattened out, where that's possible. >One guesses where the valley might be left. >There is no pattern to the dreary streets > >uprouted around new locked building. >Much hangs where it was standing when death came. >Perhaps all these walking now arrived >later, though this morning they seem undead: > >a mode of simulation, a programme to be followed, >a program without "me", a code, a fool's idea. >It is a muddle of a foreign field >the provenance of which might be unknown. > > > -- Onko onni unta vain?