Further to David Page's meesage earlier today, the
Sunday Telegraph also has two good (I think) verses parodying 'Tommy',
updated for 2003.
Under the heading 'Tommy in the 21st Century',
Peter Pindar has written
Queen's speech praises Armed
Forces
apologies to Rudyard Kipling)
"We aren't made for Cool Britannia; we leave boot
marks on the floor.
We don't walk like Peter Mandelson or talk quite
like Jack Straw.
Call us "forces of conservatism" if it suits your
turn
But we're off like some world fire brigade when
flash-points start to burn.
Yes it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' spend
less on defence,
But who walks the streets of Basra when the air
is getting tense?
When the air is getting tense, boys, from Kabul
to Kosovo
Who'll say goodbye to wife and kids, and
shoulder pack and go?
The Queen, she's sat in Windsor now for 50 years or
more.
She'll see this government depart like other ones
before.
And Blair and Bush and Chirac make their plans to
no avail
But who remains to serve the Crown when politicians
fail?
O it's Tommy change your values - now
diversity's the game:
But when Christmas leave is cancelled, then
whose tyrants are to blame?
There's tyrants in the mountains, boys, and
tyrants in the sands,
So farewell to wives and risk your lives for
them in foreign lands."
Not bad for (I assume) being turned out in about 48
hours
Alastair Wilson
