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Here are two offerings for the accountant and auditor in all of us! I wrote neither of them, of course! Accountant's Life He was a very cautious man, who never romped or played. He never smoked, he never drank, nor even kissed a maid. And when up and passed and away, insurance was denied. For since he hadn't ever lived, they claimed he never died. An Ode to Auditing We test without apology Both safety and ecology And inventories, budgets, and production. Checking scrap and sanitation, Overtime, and transportation – Not forgetting cost accounting and construction. We test sales and check insurance (EDP tries our endurance As we audit payroll, cash, and simulation!) We study management by objective, Test controls that are defective, And evaluate employee compensation. We do sampling and regression And there is a strong impression We’re responsible for catching all crooks. We are really in our element With research and development – But thankfully we do not keep the books. We check aircraft, trucks and motor cars, And rockets that fly up to the stars, And leases, loans – even personnel. We examine engineering Even salvage is endearing And we check on records management as well. There is nothing we can’t verify – There’s nothing that escapes our eye. Alert to all misconduct and to fraud. We will go where others fear to tread And as it has often been said, "We are the eyes and ears of management and the Board." By Lawrence Sawyer Reporter Duncan Williamson -----Original Message----- From: Economics, business, and related subjects [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Jocelyn Paine Sent: 05 October 2003 03:33 To: [log in to unmask] Subject: Re: national poetry day On Thu, 2 Oct 2003, Graham Stark wrote: > How about T.S. Elliot's The Fall of Rome: > > Fantastic grow the evening gowns; > Agents of the Fisc pursue > Absconding tax-defaulters through > The sewers of provincial towns. > [..] > Caesar's double-bed is warm > As an unimportant clerk > Writes I DO NOT LIKE MY WORK > On a pink official form. > Yes, that one's very good. I do like his compressed imagery. Let's complete the fall, for people who don't know it: Unendowed with wealth or pity, Little birds with scarlet legs, Sitting on their speckled eggs, Eye each flu-infected city. Altogether elsewhere, vast Herds of reindeer move across Miles and miles of golden moss, Silently and very fast. (It's Auden, by the way, not Eliot.) Anyway, to indicate how the fall might come about, with a bit of economic dynamics, may I suggest this song: There's a hole in my budget, dear Harold, dear Harold, There's a hole in my budget, dear Harold, my dear. Then mend it, dear Healy, dear Dennis, dear Dennis, Then mend it dear chancellor, dear Dennis, my dear. But how shall I mend it, dear Wilson, dear Wilson, But how shall I mend it, dear Wilson, my dear? By building up exports, dear Dennis, dear Dennis, By increased production, dear eyebrows, my dear. But that means working harder, dear Harold, dear Harold, And the workers must have more incentives, my dear. Then decrease taxation, dear Healy, dear Healy, And raise all their wages, dear Healy, my dear. But where is the money to come from, dear Premier, But where is the money to come from, my dear? Why, out of your budget, dear Healy, dear Healy, Why, out of your budget, dear Dennis, my dear. But there's a hole in my budget, dear Harold, my dear! This is "There's a Hole in my Budget" by Flanders and Swann, sung as a duet between the Prime Minister and the Chancellor of the day, as they walz roud the room in a steadily increasing inflationary spiral... Jocelyn Paine http://www.j-paine.org http://www.virtual-worlds.biz +44 (0)7768 534 091 > maybe that's not the spirit of the day, though.. > > Graham > > > Sometime ago we had a thread about suitable pop songs for use in an > > economics/business class. With National Poetry Day fast approaching > > (9/10), I wondered if colleagues had any ideas for a short suitable > > piece of poetry with which to enter into the spirit of the day? > > Any suggestions gratefully received! > > Alison > -- > Graham Stark, Virtual Worlds > phone: (+044) 01908 618239 mobile: 07952 633185 > Homepage http://www.virtual-worlds.biz > Virtual Learning Arcade http://www.bized.ac.uk/virtual/vla > Virtual Economy http://www.bized.ac.uk/virtual/economy > --- Incoming mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.520 / Virus Database: 318 - Release Date: 18/09/2003 --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.522 / Virus Database: 320 - Release Date: 29/09/2003