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Yes, it was intrusive...and the well meaning man should have asked...it is what any well brought up person should do first... People just don't know about alot of things...Besides writing your Ph.D. about the attitudes that people have....what about telling the public what is needed, required, necessary if we are to leave in harmony... And its' pretty tiring to have to keep doing this. However, the gains which have been made in the attitudes of young people such as my daughter who has been socialized by her elementary school to asked anyone before touching someone or "helping" have all been via education. But why should you be the only one person who is having to complain or advocate. Perhaps this is one reason for this list serve to develop a "community" that can pick up the slack when one person has just had it... So, is there a local forum for letters to the editor ...and how can we help... Bertie Mo, Ph.D., MPH Judith Kelleher <[log in to unmask]> wrote:My son and I went to a movie on Sunday afternoon. The movie, "Whale Rider" was wonderful and, as an aside, I recommend it to all as an example of what is really creative and special about our young New Zealand film industry. At the end of the film we sat there savouring the moment, only to be intruded upon by a man who had been sitting in front of us with four children. He was insistent in his desire to 'help' my son into his wheelchair, which had been parked at the back of the theatre. My son, who is adult, tall and well built uses a chair to get from one place to another because he has spasm and movement impairments as a result of a serious TBI ten years ago. He prefers to sit in an ordinary seat at the movies and transfers are something that he,I and various others of his social circle manage without ever really thinking about. I suppose that there is something about David that makes him "other" to those who do not know him, but to us, he is who he is, a person living his life. We were stunned by this person's loudness and persistence and when I said that we were able to manage, he stuffed a twenty dollar note into my handbag stating very loudly that it was very good of me to be taking one of these people out and that he wanted to help. I could have fallen through the floor and once we made to our vehicle, I looked around and noticed that there were tears streaming down David's face. When I still come up against incredible attitudes and behaviour such as this, I have an overwhelming desire to protect him from the "outside" and am in a Catch 22 place because since he first came out of coma we have promoted and sought a full and real life for him. I have been constantly aware of the need to avoid kid glove treatment and infantilisation, encouraging him to be "out there" doing everything he can and keeping myself as much in the background as possible. He does have issues with speech and speed of information processing and he could not, in this instance speak for himself and I was too stunned to speak. David knows that I am writing this and is sitting with me at the computer. He has just told me that he felt that the man took something important off him. In the end this incident is another spur for me in my new PhD studies, which will investigate social attitudes to ABI in NZ. Does anyone have any input or comment to make? I guess I am still feeling very angry!. Judith Kelleher. ________________End of message______________________ Archives and tools for the Disability-Research Discussion List are now located at: www.jiscmail.ac.uk/lists/disability-research.html You can JOIN or LEAVE the list from this web page. --------------------------------- Do you Yahoo!? Yahoo! Web Hosting - establish your business online ________________End of message______________________ Archives and tools for the Disability-Research Discussion List are now located at: www.jiscmail.ac.uk/lists/disability-research.html You can JOIN or LEAVE the list from this web page.