Dave, I really like this poem, at first I was afraid to read it not for possible suicide but broken love poems make my stomach turn, like the days of our lives :-) But this is a wonderful rendition of emotion into the deadness of poesy. The voice moves nicely in its repitition and seems right from you. Nothing further is necessary to say as this poems, I think, wishes :-) Best, Geoffrey Geoffrey Gatza editor BlazeVOX2k3 __o _`\<,_ (*) / (*) www.blazevox.org ----- Original Message ----- From: "david.bircumshaw" <[log in to unmask]> To: <[log in to unmask]> Sent: Wednesday, April 16, 2003 9:28 PM Subject: Re: A dibble for Deborah > One more, short I happily promise, if I wanted to deluge the list with my > back-log of poems it might result in mass-suicides, the interest in this I > think is that it is both simultaneously personal and not-personal, it was > triggered by a broken love-affar but doesn't describe it literally, which > might make me sound inhuman, it gave me an idea for a poem. I'd be > interested in any comments on its formal structure, particularly from > Rambletone, that Scots pedant. If he's up to it that is! > > > NO TITLE INDEED > > When the four-week moon of your madness > Curved on the blank pane of your head > Obscurities thronged with obscurities > In a dance from the living to the dead. > You crumbled like cottony, white bread. > No use, > I had to go. Nothing more to be said. > > > Best > > Dave > > > David Bircumshaw > > Leicester, England > > Home Page > > A Chide's Alphabet > > Painting Without Numbers > > http://homepage.ntlworld.com/david.bircumshaw/index.htm > >