Ok, that settles it--and thanks very much, Dave! But I was just kidding
about the double play--the reason I know about bowler's and batsmen and hat
tricks (oh my) is that I once had to copyedit a long essay on cricket and
English literature, the first page of which made it clear that I'd better
understand the game if I didn't want to mess up the essay.
As for "Then" at the beginning of the last stanza, I think you're right, and
I was uncomfortable with it too. But since Johnson's poem starts off its
last stanza with it ("Then with no throbbing fiery pain"--yuck, huh?),
presumably for a downbeat-dirgey effect following from "Though now his
eightieth year was nigh," I thought it might be important to keep it for the
sake of the parody. Maybe it's just too awful, though. (Jeez, I thought "The
Vanity of Hatrack Wishes" was bad until I discovered "On the Death of Dr
Robert Levet"!)
Thanks again--Candice
P.S. Yup, Richard seems to have put a Sirius hex on that demon.
on 1/5/02 1:02 PM, david.bircumshaw at [log in to unmask] wrote:
>> Would "His hat trick's pure
>> cricket" work for you (i.e., to force the stress back on "hat")?
>
> I like that, Candice. It slows down the predominant swing and pushes the
> voice onto the forefronted sounds. But one has to be careful of breaking up
> the rhythm. Definitely not 'IMpure' cricket (there are no double plays in
> that game: silly mid-oafs, I mean 'offs', long legs, googlies and yorkers,
> but if a batsman hits the ball twice at his stumps - the wicket's the
> 'pitch' where the ball is bowled btw - then technically he's out)
>
> Perhaps the first line of the final stanza needs to start with an unstressed
> syllable, I find hitting the brakes on 'Then' at the start of a stanza a
> little forced, as further lines begin with a 'hit', maybe something like
> 'And then' twould be easier to hit the second word. This would have the
> benefit of pushing a stronger emphasis onto 'Death' at the inception of the
> following line. Then!!!
>
> The demon has e-vanished from me, I'm glad to say.
>
>
> Best
>
> Dave
>
>
> David Bircumshaw
>
> Leicester, England
>
> Home Page
>
> A Chide's Alphabet
>
> Painting Without Numbers
>
> www.paintstuff.20m.com/index.htm
>
> http://homepage.ntlworld.com/david.bircumshaw/index.htm
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Candice Ward" <[log in to unmask]>
> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Saturday, January 05, 2002 5:28 PM
> Subject: Re: Guardian: The canonic dead in a noel coward raw
>
>
>> Oh, I see what you're getting at, Dave--thanks. Now, I'm wondering how the
>> line would be read in the wild, that is, where the stress would fall for
>> most people on the first reading among the 3 possibilities you note. Maybe
> I
>> should try to control for that, but I'm reluctant to get too finicky with
> it
>> and risk getting stuck in my own wicket. Would "His hat trick's pure
>> cricket" work for you (i.e., to force the stress back on "hat")? Or how
>> about "His hat trick was IMpure cricket" for a double play (if cricket has
>> those)? Appreciate your advice, being rather metrically challenged
>> myself--Candice
>>
>> P.S. Feel free to back-channel me if you're worried about the Temple
> Demon!
