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Kia Ora Ishbel I am writing from New Zealand. I do not know the health services that exist in the area that this woman is calling from. One thing that I think is very important is the relationship she has with her husband. It is good that she has achieved pregnancy given the circumstances. From your email I am unaware of the state of her relationship with her husband. I believe she needs to be in contact with very supportive people throughout her pregnancy and life. I would find professional counselling that does help the situation. I suspect there are other issues and not only the labour, vaginal examinations and being exposed. I am also sure there are midwives, possibly male, whom could keep vaginal exams to the minimum, if at all. I believe a trusting relationship with the professional persons in this pregnancy are paramount. I believe that caesarian section is an option as a last resort, due to the risks that she may face. End of the day this woman needs spiritual guidance in the form of Christian life. She can be healed. I cannot recommend any Christian counsellors or Christian church groups outside the North Island New Zealand that could help. I will pray for this situation. God Bless and Good Luck. Janet. --- Ishbel Kargar <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > Dear ListSisters > > This is a very sensitive posting, and I am sure > there are many Listners out > there who can offer help. However, to preserve > confidentiality, I have > deleted the identifying details from the message. > Please will you try to > help this woman in any way you can by responding to > her request via the ARM > email address. I will pass on your messages as soon > as they come through. > > Many thanks > Ishbel > > To: <[log in to unmask]> > Sent: 18 January 2001 22:10 > Subject: Birth fears > > > To whom it may concern > > I am 25 years old and 21weeks pregnant. I am having > trouble getting > information and support regarding my problem. I was > wondering if you can > help? > > I have psycho-sexual problems which I have had > counselling for, > unfortunately this did not help and if anything has > made the problem worse. > This stems from being abused by a female family > member and a difficult > childhood. > > The problem I have is the prospect of a vaginal > birth. I have great fears > of actually giving birth, but also the prospect of > having internal > examinations and being exposed. I have spoke to my > midwife who did not > offer much support and I have had an appointment > with my obstetrician who > suggests that a caesarean section is my best option. > I am worried if I go > through a natural birth it will affect my > relationship with my baby (I fear > I will resent it and reject it). I also worry it > will greatly affect my > relationship with my husband who has always been > very supportive. The > obstetrician feels it will be better emotionally for > myself and the baby. > > I feel that the best option is a caesarean but am > obvioulsy concerned that > it is a major operation and it will take longer to > recover from. I am > confused as to whether this way is better than if I > have the baby naturally > and go through psychological problems post-nataly. > I would greatly > appreciate your advice on this matter and any > information you can give me > about cases like mine and also positive information > about caesarean sections > (as all I can find is negative things!) > > Thank you very much for your help in this matter. I > do hope you can help me > and I look forward to hearing from you. > > Regards > > C.R. __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Yahoo! Auctions - Buy the things you want at great prices. http://auctions.yahoo.com/