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Many thanks to all you librarins who have sent me in their humourous enquiries. I am now well over half way in collected the several hundred I need to bring the book to fruition. I enclose a few from my favourite section:- Confusing mental with audible replies (or foot in mouth syndrome) Please keep your humorous enquiries coming. Happy Christmas to you all Gordon Enquirer, “Do you have anything good to read?” Librarian, “No. I’m afraid we have 75 000 books and they’re all duds.” A telephone enquirer asked, “Do you have books on leaves?” Librarian, “Nope we keep them on shelves.” Enquirer, “I’m looking for a globe of the earth.” Librarian, “We have a table top model over here.” Enquirer, “No. that’s not good enough. Don’t you have a life sized model?” Librarian, “Yes. But it’s in use right now.” Enquirer, “I’d like to request this book (on the request slip) from the closed stacks. Will it be long?” Librarian, “No madam. It is likely to be rectangular.” Enquirer, “Excuse me, I’m looking for a book.” Librarian, “Then you will be pleased to know you’re I the right place. We have six million of them. Any one in particular.”