 |
 |
Dear Kathrine I agree with yo and will certainly pause, before writing. Kindest Regards Gerald -----Original Message----- From: kathrine connolly <[log in to unmask]> To: [log in to unmask] <[log in to unmask]> Date: 03 May 2000 18:23 Subject: Re:apologise and the end >to all members > >Charles is absolutely right. it was never my intention to take up space >with this story. I have been a very quite member for about four months and >I would just like to say that some of the discussions that have arisen have >been totally informative and fascinating. Thank you.> > >I will give a very brief explanation of why ..' all women have penis envy' >struck a cord ........I was sexually abused at the age of eleven (by a man) >......I promise you this statement does not apply to me ......having said >this nether do I hate men > > I think I was feeling angry, at the comments made and my way of dealing >with anger is black humour, it was very late last night and I think it was a >spontaneous reply rather than a well thought out one. sorry > >what I have realised today, is that the facetious remarks that were directed >towards Gerard have probably had a ripple effect and some male members are >probably feeling as attacked and uncomfortable as I felt . TO ALL THE MALE >MEMBERS I DO APOLOGISE IT WAS NEVER MY INTENTION TO INSULT MEN .......just >to make a point that generalisations are not usually helpful. > >What I will say is that I have learnt a lot from this discussion ....I have >been looking at myself all day ..........and there is certainly room for >improvement ....so on that point I would take issue with Charles ....if only >myself and Gerard ......stop and pause before we launch into a series of not >very productive comments ....there will be at least two better psychologists >around ....Thank you Gerard > >kathrine > > >> >----- Original Message ----- >From: Charles Grefer <[log in to unmask]> >To: <[log in to unmask]> >Sent: Wednesday, May 03, 2000 3:44 PM >Subject: RE: ADD & ADHD > > >My only comments to this are, and I am reluctant to reward such behavior >with further commentary, are: > >Be careful not to argue with an idiot, people may not be able to distinguish >between the two of you. Second, this thread has shown me how even educated >people can allow themselves to degrade in intellect. I also found offense >in prior comments, but fail to see any productive path to follow from them. > >Just my opinion, I could be wrong >Chas > >Charles R. Grefer >Counselor, >Coordinator of START & OR >1000 Leroy Road, Loch Sheldrake, NY 12759 >Phone: 914 434 5750, ext: 4241 >Fax: 914 434 4806 > >CHANGE: The bend in the road is not the end of the road... >Unless you fail to make the turn! > > > > > > > >-----Original Message----- >From: kathrine connolly [mailto:[log in to unmask]] >Sent: Tuesday, May 02, 2000 6:51 PM >To: [log in to unmask] >Subject: Re: ADD & ADHD > > >Gerald > >'I think you are away with the fairies' 'all women envy the penis ' maybe >it is your story, but then you are a man and lets face it most men like to >believe this myth, the same kind of man that gives their penis a name >..........sorry but what did you expect. This is the kind of comment that >would make any woman, that values her womanhood, want to bite the ankle (or >even the testicles of the man that said this)...Pleassssse, women do not >need to go waving there bits around and accusing the opposite sex of being >jealous of a bodily part. This is not a valid argument or an intelligent >statement, and I sincerely hope you are just a counsellor in training, and >have not been let loose on the general public with such biased views, you >know equal opps etc. > >As a single parent of three children, totally unsupported by a penis (cos an >awful lot of penis's have no scrupples) I have brought my children up, >completed a degree in psychology, a diploma in psychodynamic counselling >(yes) and am in the process of struggling with my doctorate...........I can >assure you I do not envy a penis or even resent a penis .............I feel >rather sad for the poor human beings that are attached to a penis, and >worry about the apparently strange connection between the penis and the >brain. > >I realise that these comments are exactly what this site is not about. and >I apologise to the other members. I would just like to add that I find your >comments offensive and without validation. I am a feminist, or should I say >a person that believes all people should be equal.............but don't we >all believe this and if we do not then we should. I think Shulamith >Firestone has a valid point in that women will never be equal until the >burden of child bearing is removed from women and it becomes an asexual >process. then it can no longer be used as a guilt trip to control women. >Because child-bearing and the concept of womanhood has been used as a method >of control since the ark. > >oh by the way I am now a lesbian, oh I did not start out as one, but after >being beaten up on a regular basis by a thing attached to a penis. I >decided to bat for the other team..........BUT I AM THE >EXCEPTION.........most lesbians are with women because they love women >..........not because they hate men. having said that of my three children >two are boys, and I adore all of them. And I do not envy a penis, because I >am a very attractive woman (kate Bush look alike) . I think the thing that >is so frustrating about such an inane comment like yours is that I cannot >argue about it in any depth, and the bottom line is that my comments are as >shallow as yours ...........and after seven years of working with the >Samaritans, victim support and working in a young offenders prison (category >'A' .....lifers ......male) I do not think I am a shallow person. > >apologises to the other members again > >KT >----- Original Message ----- >From: Helen <[log in to unmask]> >To: <[log in to unmask]> >Sent: Tuesday, May 02, 2000 10:14 PM >Subject: Re: ADD & ADHD > > >> >> ----- Original Message ----- >> From: Helen <[log in to unmask]> >> To: G.F. Phillips <[log in to unmask]> >> Sent: Tuesday, May 02, 2000 9:34 PM >> Subject: Re: ADD & ADHD >> >> >> > Gerald >> > >> > 'All women envy the Penis' - I resent this statement for a number of >> > reasons. Firstly I wonder how many gay woman would agree with you? Why >> > would a woman envy something that deflates in later life, lets face it >> you >> > only get 2 years use out of a penis (maximum). Also all women are >taught >> > from a very early age that all men only think with their penis, recent >> > statistics show that one in two women prefer chocolate to sex, long live >> the >> > Cadburys flake! It does the same job but tastes a hundred times better. >> > I really do not like lowering myself to this level, however, there was >no >> > need for your statement I feel it was totally uncalled for and was petty >> and >> > pathetic and just like an insecure man to come out with. >> > >> > Hel. >> > >> > >> > ----- Original Message ----- >> > From: G.F. Phillips <[log in to unmask]> >> > To: <[log in to unmask]> >> > Sent: Tuesday, May 02, 2000 6:53 PM >> > Subject: Re: ADD & ADHD >> > >> > >> > > Dear Stephen >> > > I swore, in an earlier message I said that I would not , under any >> > > circumstances reply to anything bearing the the name ADHD. I am >however >> > > moved by your message. >> > > >> > > It is unfortunate that I should reply to you in a psychodynamic way. >> I >> > > totally support you in your statement. It feels unfortunate to me >> that >> > in >> > > this politically correct society, that we should not be allowed to >> suggest >> > > the MOTHER as being important. She is , indeed, terribly importamt >in >> > the >> > > upbringing of the infant. Without the Mother we should surely be >lost. >> I >> > > consider feminists' to be without breast and without that which could >be >> > > described as WOMANHOOD. For the Femiinists amongst you, can reply, >but >> > > before you do please listen from a Feminist Friend; 'If my foetus is >> male >> > I >> > > will kill it' After birth the BABY (BOY) was the love of her life >> and >> > is >> > > now a Consultant Physician in a a major taeching hospital, in London. >> His >> > > mother is in constant contact and tells me that the milk is still in >her >> > > breasts. SOMEONE EXPLAIN IF YOU CAN? >> > > >> > > Due to the abuse in this group, I am not in the least interested in >the >> > > political views of the feminist movement, but only from WOMEN in the >> true >> > > sense of the word. >> > > >> > > Gerald >> > > >> > > >> > > ' All Women envy the Penis' >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > -----Original Message----- >> > > From: Rennie, Steve [HES] <[log in to unmask]> >> > > To: [log in to unmask] <[log in to unmask]> >> > > Date: 02 May 2000 11:43 >> > > Subject: RE: ADD & ADHD >> > > >> > > >> > > >Helen (and others in the ADHD thread), I have been a playworker since >> the >> > > late 1960s, mostly on adventure playgrounds in the UK. In the last >> > fifteen >> > > years my direct work with children has tended to be more specialist. >> Over >> > > the years many children have come to me with labels, increasingly of >> late >> > > ADHD. I have never yet found a child labelled in that way who was >unable >> > to >> > > relate to me constructively and attentively through their play. In a >> short >> > > series of experiments, I asked principal carers, who had expressed >major >> > > concerns about their relationships with their children, to engage with >> > them >> > > in imaginal play. Every one reported considerable and sustained >> > improvements >> > > both in their relationships with the child and in the child's >> > relationships >> > > with others. >> > > > >> > > >My observations of children with their principal carers >(overwhelmingly >> > > their mothers) appear to indicate that most apparently anti-social >> > > behaviours exhibited by the children are best explained as >"dysplay", >> > > distorted play cues arising from increasingly desperate attempts on >the >> > part >> > > of the child to get playful interaction with the carer. A short period >> of >> > > accurate response to play cues appears to diminish this "dysplay" >> > > dramatically and in a sustained fashion. >> > > > >> > > >The major problem I have had in gaining acceptance of this technique, >> > would >> > > appear to be its lack of seriousness. Engaging with a child in >imaginal >> > play >> > > looks silly and adult participants often say that it feels silly at >> first. >> > > One mother of a four year old who had set fire to his nursery school >and >> > his >> > > house said that it felt she was ignoring the problem when she just >> played >> > > cars (with noises) while lying on the carpet with him. However, she >also >> > > said that the end of that session, when he spontaneously cuddled her, >> was >> > > the first time that had happened since he had been a baby. >> > > > >> > > >If I had made the option of medication for the child available to >that >> > > mother at the outset, I am sure that she would have taken it. She >would >> > have >> > > felt she was addressing a serious problem seriously. >> > > > >> > > >Stephen Rennie, Leeds Metropolitan University >> > > >[log in to unmask] >> > > > >> > > >> > >> >> > > %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%