Interview with a Gentleman
Sir, who are we?
Sir, we are our desires.
And what, Sir, are your religious views?
Sir, I believe we enact the judgement of Providence.
Sir, of what metal should a man be made?
Sir, of iron.
Not, Sir, of gold?
No, Sir. Gold is soft.
Sir, how are we to consider victory?
Sir, as money in the bank.
And how, Sir, are we to take defeat?
Sir, as a bracing wind.
Sir, should we fear death?
Sir, we should fear the fear of death.
Sir, what would you have graven on your tombstone?
Sir, he did more good than harm.
How, Sir, would you have your enemies remember you?
Sir, as a plague.
And how, Sir, your friends?
Sir, as a refuge.
Sir, what is honor?
Sir, it is the last thing we lose.
Sir, what is the worst thing a man can be?
Sir, cruel.
Sir, what then is the best thing a man can be?
Sir, true.
Well then Sir, what is the worst thing a woman can be?
Sir, predictable.
And what, Sir, is the best thing a woman can be?
Sir, eighteen.
[-- hitherto unpublished]
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