Dear all,
Nothing to do with work, but I think this may raise a wry
smile!
Happy Christmas/Joyeux Noel/Frohliche Weihnachten etc. to
one and all
Patrick Overy
>
>
> > MICROSOFT SHOULD MAKE CARS - GM SHOULD MAKE
> > SOFTWARE.
> >
> > At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly
> > compared the computer
> > industry with the auto industry and stated:
> >
> > "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer
> > industry has, we would
> > all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000
> > miles to the gallon."
> >
> > In response to Bill's comments, General Motors
> > issued a press release
> > stating the following:
> >
> > "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we
> > would be driving cars
> > with the following characteristics:
> >
> > 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash
> > twice a day.
> >
> > 2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road,
> > you would have to buy a
> > new car.
> >
> > 3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway
> > for no reason, and you
> > would accept this, restart, and drive on.
> >
> > 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left
> > turn would cause your
> > car to shut down and refuse to restart; in which
> > case you would have to
> > reinstall the engine.
> >
> > 5. Only one person at a time could use the car,
> > unless you bought 'Car95'
> > or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy more seats.
> >
> > 6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by
> > the sun, was more
> > reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to
> > drive, but would only run
> > on five percent of the roads.
> >
> > 7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator
> > warning lights would be
> > replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning
> > light.
> >
> > 8. New seats would force everyone to have the same
> > butt size.
> >
> > 9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?'
> > before going off.
> >
> > 10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car
> > would lock you out and
> > refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted
> > the door handle, turned
> > the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
> >
> > 11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase
> > a deluxe set of Rand
> > McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though
> > they neither need them
> > nor want them. Attempting to delete this option
> > would immediately cause the
> > car's performance to diminish by 50 percent or more.
> >
> > 12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers
> > would have to learn
> > how to drive all over again because none of the
> > controls would operate in
> > the same manner as the old car.
> >
> > 13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the
> > engine."
> >
> >
>
----------------------
Patrick Overy
EDC Librarian
University of Exeter
Amory Building
Rennes Drive
EXETER EX4 4RJ
Tel. (01392) 263356
Fax. (01392) 263196
e-mail [log in to unmask]
website http://www.ex.ac.uk/~pcovery/lib/eurostudies.html
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