Hello Dona,
Sorry about my description in the last e-mail. I think it was the
difficulty of trying to describe the person I was talking about and not
being able to use her name. Reading it back, I guess it sounds really
awful the way I have written it. I always use her first name when I am
with her, or talking to others who know her, but of course its difficult
to describe this situation which I think is relevant, and keep a measure
of confidentiality. Next time I will give her a false name, as I
appreciate this sounds better. As to "the" mother - that sounds worse
to me, like some kind of inanimate object, rather than a person. For
me, the title "mother" feels OK, although I can recall at one stage when
my own children were small that I felt rather a non-person being seen
only as "the mother"! I think at the meetings I felt that the
professionals around the table (and bear in mind I am there as a
volunteer, not wearing a professional hat!) all saw Mrs. B as "the
mother" i.e. someone who was being judged as somehow responsible for
some of her son's difficulties. Anyway, sorry, Dona, I'll try to think
a bit more carefully about my postings for future comment.
Janet Iles
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