"The issue for me is how do I exist now and get ready
to die."
Your statement seems to be crying out for an answer rooted in
religion. How one exists must be connected to why one exists. How
you prepare for death depends on whether you believe death is a
beginning or an end.
William Blake had a very strong personal sense
of faith in God which shaped his responses in ways that were
unconventional for the times in which he lived. Answers to the
questions you raise may also be unconventional and unfashionable, so
long as they are true why should we care?
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