Johnson Cheu wrote:
> And if we are no closer to understanding these "hot button" issues, then
> why have the discussion at all?
Well, if we (some of us) want to 'marry' the parents' view with
the social model, then we should not court 'divorce' by refusing to
try to find common ground--of which, I think, there is much shared
terrain: oppression, medical and service 'authorities' to deal with,
social stigma, liminality, financial urgencies, to name a few.
I thought Mairian made some great points about the NEED to readdress
'hot' issues... till we 'get it right' and say what we really feel,
to demystify the conflicts. Society has placed disabled people and
their families in a dung heap (that has suddenly become a source of
profit!); and as we struggle for fresh air, a lot of debris must be
penetrated. Pushing 'hot buttons' out of our way as we climb will
only make them nastier and smellier, until we deal with them.
So, meanwhile, back to Laurence's original query--
> I can also see that the issues for parents are different to the
>issues for people with a disability and perhaps in some cases,
>contrary.
Laurence, aside from abuse, what exactly are the issues that
different, or contrary?
As you yourself note,
> In many areas of the child's (and adult's) life, parents will have
>been. . . the only people willing and able to advocate for the
>needs and rights of their children in day to day negotiations with
>myriad service providers.
Personally, my 'agenda' in raising Lynn was never in conflict with
his needs (that I am aware of). The way that doctors and therapists
and service providers and teachers and relatives and strangers
treated HIM, greatly antagonized ME, and (if I had known of the
social model all those years ago) I (would have) fought for his
rights. (As it was, tho, I accepted the 'deviant' label for the
entire family, and embraced the notion that we needed to grovel and
beg for services, and be grateful for them, and so on.)
Given the parenthetical realities above, it is possible that some
parents take out their frustrations and depressions on their
children, transferring their fury with the state/society/stupid
people onto the person who represents the problem (and does not fight
back). Here is the tragedy of disability. No one denies that this
does happen.
But does this not verify that social constructions of disability and
hegemonic responses to any deviance from the 'norm' are, at base, the
singular cause of the family's (including all members) oppression?
Why are we battling with each other, when 'there be dragons' out
there, who threaten us all (and who are likely enjoying our internal
conflicts, for they distract us from the real enemy's power)?
OK, so far I've used 'dung heap' and 'dragons' to make my point.
Booker T. Washington had a better metaphor: Imagine a bucket of
crawdads, unattended, awaiting the fisherman's need for bait as he
tries to catch 'the big fish.' Those crawdads want OUT of that
bucket, and will climb over each other, battle each other, destroy
each other, in their singular desire to be free. The struggle and
backbiting and fury among the crawdads results in most of them facing
death, and none of them achieving liberty.
It's a Paulo Frierean-type image of the oppressed. We are so
contained in our misery that we lash out at the nearest symbol of our
status--which usually is a comrade in our oppression, not the cause
of it.
Laurence writes:
> is there any possibility of coalition, alliance or any other sort
>of partnership?
If not, we crawdads will continue to fill the fisherman's needs, at
the expense of our entire families. 'Seems to me,' said Booker T.
(or he should have), 'we need to cooperate.'
How do you climb through a dungheap? Certainly not by adding more
shit to the pile. Let's look at where the garbage originated, and
blame the refuse-dumpers for their careless and dirty habits.
(Apologies for the mixed metaphors, but Johnson, do you see why we
can never let these issues die, and why we have to not only recycle
the debris in which we are submerged, but clear it? To open our view
of the larger, the original, the most dangerous oppression?)
regards from the pile,
Dona M. Avery
Arizona State University
Tempe, AZ 85287-0302
www.public.asu.edu/~donam
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