Hi, it wasn t me- it was Mairian or someone else responding to what I
said, and I want to put my points in contexts- I do think that verbal
abuse is still abusive and damaging. My point was that when children use
the words AGAINST us we have little power. It is teasing that is aimed at
us. My daughter who is Black was called lots of names, She is also Deaf
and was called these names in sign language by other Deaf children. She
came home being called a lesbian a few times and I wondered if that was
an insult or if they even knew what it meant ( the sign ). We discussed it
many times, and as a parent I really believe that the children who are
"victimized" by language insults have no choices- they have to listen,
see, feel , experience the negativity. That is what I meant by teasing.
I was not minimizing the impact I was showing that it was generally
unidirectional. When my daughter grew up a little ( 10 or 11) she pointed
out that she was not indeed Black ( the colour) but a beautiful brown.
She had been made to feel that the word ( and clolour) Black had bad
meanings and wanted to distance herself from them. Similarly, when she
met gay and lesbian adults, we knew as friends, she distanced herself
because of the negative connection from the school yard. ThaT IS THE
IMPACT of the teasing- the names of cripple, nigger, faggot are
important. However- and this is the point I inadequately made - as
ADULTS ( or as growing up people who may or may not ever reach maturity),
we can start to choose our language and our meanings. We may, as Mairian
so rightly pointed out, never convince others of our meanings or get them
to accept how we label ourselves, but we DO HAVE A CHOICE, as social
actors. I was responding directly to the list member who asked why
people were calling themselves disabled or why it was being used because
he was a person with an "impairment" and that disability was defective.
My point was and still is that as adults, and as list serve members,
we can choose what langauge we use to suit ourselves, and by defining what
we mean we can make it easier for the other members to understand us- not
necessarily ( heaven forbig) agree, but to understand.
Things are getting curiouser and curiouser. Tanis
--------0----> :-)
This is Tanis Doe- Real name- Please send any documents with
attachments to another email address Tanis_Doe@bc.sympatico.ca...
Also check out my temporary web site for a conference on the i
nternet and women at
www3.bc.sympatico.ca/inclusion/workshop.html Inclusion Works!
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