I hope this can be taken by everyone as it was meant....with absolutely no
offence intended.
Gill.
-----Original Message-----
From: [log in to unmask]
[mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Donaldson, Ian
Sent: 05 March 1999 01:49
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Laugther, the best medicine
Time for a humour break!
(Enjoy, No offence intended.)
Regards
------------------------------------------
>
> Mental Health Institute
>
> A transcript of the new answering service recently installed at the
Mental
> Health Institute.
>
> "Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
>
> If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
>
> If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
>
> If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
>
> If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the
>line
> so we can trace your call.
>
> If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the
>mother ship.
>
> If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell
you
>which number to press.
>
> If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press:
>no-one will answer.
>
> If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.
>
> If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a
>representative comes on the line.
>
> If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number,
>date
> of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.
>
> If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press
000.
>
> If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or
>before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
>
> If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term
memory
>loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have
>short-term memory loss, press 9.
>
>
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