Yes, the 'wait until she is not there' scenario might kick in. However,
there might be someone who really does stop and think about the message they
are sending.
I think that there are many people who are open to change.
There are many things I used to say that I would not say now, or at least
think about before opening my mouth, because someone or something has caused
me to reflect on my own attitudes.
I can be as cynical about the human race as the next man, but fail to
believe that change is not possible 100% of the time.
Gill.
> -----Original Message-----
> From: [log in to unmask]
> [mailto:[log in to unmask]]On Behalf Of Carolyn
> Tyjewski
> Sent: 26 March 1999 23:29
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: attitude change
>
>
> The only thing they'll have to "wrestle with" is whether or not
> your wife is in
> the room. Like ethnic jokes, people who tell them tend to check
> the room for
> "those people" -- because "they're just too sensitive" -- and
> then, if "those
> people" aren't in the room, the joke gets told.
>
> This does not mean one should not say something when an
> offensive/off-color joke
> gets told. It only means that one should recognize that the only
> thing one has
> done is sent the behavior underground (for lack of a better term)
> and it won't be
> done in one's presence again -- at least not for a time. And,
> chances are, if
> one makes a comment, one should also recognize that the next
> "joke" will be about
> one's self -- the minute one leaves the vicinity -- as a way to
> reaffirm societal
> standards of behavior by the individual/group telling the "jokes."
>
> Henry Cullihall wrote:
>
> > Q. How are men and parking lots similar?
> > A. Most of the good ones are taken. Only the handicapped ones are left.
> >
> > This was a joke my wife heard at work around a luncheon. My
> wife courageously
> > stood up and said, "I really don't appreciate those kinds of
> jokes." "My
> > husband is disabled" She described how many came to her after
> and apologized.
> >
> > My point. Attitudes do not change.
> > My wife's point. Attitudes can be changed. She argues that her
> stance "sows
> > seeds for change" in that when the same people plan to tell
> these jokes again
> > they will remember her and be forced to wrestle with their conscience.
> >
> > What do you think? Anyone?
> >
> > Henry
>
> --
> Carolyn
> check out, "Passing, Invisibility and Other Psychotic Stuff" at
> http://www.tell-us-your-story.com/_disc68r/00000003.htm
> Add your story
> at http://www.tell-us-your-story.com
> Finding What We Have In Common One Story At A Time*
>
>
>
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