For those of you who need cheering up, don't read this joke passed on to me
by a colleague. Apologies in advance to Fred Schaefer...
Lawrence
One day while walking downtown, a well known critical geographer was hit by
a bus and was tragically killed. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was
met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter [a social construction] himself.
"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it
seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a
critical geographer make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with
you."
"No problem, just let me in" said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is
let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose
where you want to spend eternity" the Saint replied.
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind.....I prefer to stay in Heaven",
even though Hell should be more exciting for research.
"Sorry, we have rules....." And with that St. Peter put the scholar in an
elevator and it went down-down-down to Hell. The doors opened and the
critical geographer found herself stepping out into a beautiful seminar room.
Down the hall was a lavishly appointed lounge, complete with a small but
useful reference library. Standing in front of her were all her former
colleagues, a veritable Who's Who of the geographical world, all cheering
for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about
old times. They had an exciting theoretical discussion trashing
post-modernism, and then retired to the faculty club for
an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil, who was
actually a really nice guy, resembling Fred Schaefer. And although he was a
scientific geographer, he showed a real interest in her work.
They talked and joked into the wee hours of the morning.
The critical geographer was having such a good time that before she knew it, it
was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as she got
on the elevator. The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the
Pearly Gates where St. Peter was waiting for her.
"Now it's time to spend a day in Heaven" he said. So the critical geographer
spent the next 24 hours lounging around on the clouds and playing the harp and
singing. She had a great time and before she knew it, her 24 hours were up
and St. Peter came and got her. "So, you've spent a day in Hell and you've
spent a day in Heaven. Now you must choose your eternity" he said. The
critical geographer paused for a second and then replied, "well, I never
thought I'd say this. I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I
think
professionally I had a better time in Hell."
So, St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again the scholar went
down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found
herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth.
She saw that her colleagues were dressed in rags and were picking up
garbage and putting it in sacks for the evening meal. They barely paused in
their work long enough to grumble and tell her that they thought her
research was second rate.
Fred himself came up to her and put his arm around her and laughed at her.
"I don't understand," stammered the great critical geographer, "yesterday I was
here and there was a library and a faculty club and we ate lobster and we
talked about my research and had a great time. Now all there is is a
wasteland of garbage and all my colleagues look miserably on me.
Fred looked at her and grinned, "that's because yesterday we were
interviewing you, but today you're faculty."
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