John Tranter's advice about second person poems seems good to me.
Reminds me of having to do a poem by, I think, H.E. Palmer (who?) for GCE
ordinary level as it was called in those far-off days. It began: "Do you
remember, Ethel?" The English teacher was nice and cool, so he turned to one
of the class's more enigmatic boys as he read:
"Do you remember Ethel -- Caddick?"
I think Palmer also wrote the "top of the mountain" lines:
"I never hear red grouse yap on a windy moor
But a door goes clang in elfin land, and I'm inside that door."
My own test of a poetic line, including my own, is to try saying "Not true" to
it and seeing if it can withstand it. Pretty much the same device as John's
but not so inventive.
E.g. "not waving but drowning" "Not true. No, I'm wrong, it is
true."
"like a silk hat on a Bradford millionnaire" "Not true. Yes,
I'm right, it
it isn't true, just that
snob thing."
Any takers for the most celebrated lines in poetry that aren't true?
(Alice and I had trouble believing Ric's list of the Whitbread judges. It
gave me the shivers.)
Doug
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