At 10:58 AM 9/23/98 -0500, you wrote:

>Her idea seems to be that genetics and peers are much more important than
>parenting in how children turn out as adults.  She apparently asserts that
>children may act as the parents wish around the parents, but act in accord
>with their peer group when parents aren't around.  As a parent, that's not
>news to me.  She also apparently believes that rebellious teenagers aren't
>trying to act like adults but rather like their peers.  Again, any parent
>knows that teenagers look on adults as barely animate relics of long dead
>cultures.  And, doesn't saying peers are the important thing beg the
>questions: how did the peers get the way they are?  

Yes. Also, my kids didn't look upon me as a Dodo...I don't think all
parent-child relationships are at all the same.

>My question would be: At what age is the influence of parenting measured in
>the child?  This may be something Harris covers.  I don't know yet, so I
>intend to be skeptical rather than critical.  I would guess that the
>effects of parenting would be more apparent in older adults than in younger
>ones.  19th C. American writer Mark Twain observed that when he was 18 he
>thought his father was so foolish he couldn't stand him, but ten years
>later he was surprised at how wise his father had become.  The New Yorker
>article about Harris (August 17th, 1998) states that one of Harris' two
>daughters was quite troublesome as a teenager, but is now living a life
>that Harris would consider successful.  So wasn't Harris's parenting
>ultimately successful?

It's also important to remember that one of Harris's children was 
adopted, and this was the child she had so many problems with. 
This would indicate to me that the neuroscientific information now
available to us indicating the damage that is more likely than not
done in utero to children whose parents discuss abortion or 
adoption is apt. 

I would also be concerned about the word "successful". This
word always depends upon one's personal assessment of 
success.

>To change the subject, in looking at parental interventions in children's
>play, it might be useful to consider reductions in average family size. 
>Wouldn't intervention be more likely in families with only one or two
>children?  Wouldn't those family dynamics result in parental pressure on
>childcare professionals to intervene as well?

One of the things we are now seeing is changes in families
where child development and parenting courses are made 
available. This sends a clear message to us, I think. My
personal and professional experience leads me to feel this
book is hogwash. It is the parents who wield the most
enormous influence in the early years when the neurological 
pathways and psychological character traits are being laid down.
By the time the child gets to school and to interact with peers
the basic traits are there. I think the greatest role-playing
goes on with peers, and not with parents. The child likely to 
be most influenced by peers is the one with the least confidence,
the least solid core from family input.

Julienne




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