>There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting
>together in a carriage in a train going through Provence. Suddenly the train
>went through a tunnel and, being an old style train, there were no lights in
>the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was a kissing
>noise and the sound of a really loud slap.
>When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the
>Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman had his
>hand against his face as he had been slapped there.
>The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed Claudia
>Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.'
>Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to
>kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.'
>
>And the Englishman was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the
>train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that
>French bastard again.'
>
A man in a hot air balloon is lost and comes down towards the ground tof
ind out where he is. Spotting a passer-by, he asks him.
"Your'e in a hot air balloon about 30 feet off the ground."
"Ah, you must be in IT!"
"How can you tell?"
"Well, everything you've told me is technically correct, but it's no
use to anyone."
"Well," says the passer-by, "you must be a manager."
"How can you tell?"
"You don't know where you are, you don't know where you're going, and
somehow it's all my fault!"
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