An elderly relative attended her GP (having been with the practice for 16
years), who gave the following remarkable performance, and indeed impressed
the patient, but hardly favourably:
1. Good morning, Mrs X, what can I do for you?
I've come for the result of the tests you ordered.
Ah yes, a blood test wasn't it?
No, an Xay and ECG.
Ah, yes.
(looking at ECG) Did you ever have a mild heart attack?
Not that I know of.
Pity we haven't an earlier ECG to compare with this one.
One was taken about 3 years ago.
Ah, yes . . . Now, your Xray shows some fluid at one lung base. May I listen
to your chest? . . .
(auscultates the subclavicular area in front and the suprascapular area
posteriorly with minimal disturbance of clothing) . . . well, I can't hear
anything. A pity there isn't an earlier Xray.
One was taken about 5 years ago: I saw the envelope at the hospital.
Ah.
(In his favour it should be said that he then went on to prescribe
appropriately and carefully.)
The above almost competes with my prize for gynaecological insensitivity --
a surgeon who prior to removing the malignant uterus of 50-yr-old patient
asked her, at a time when she was depressed by having just come through a
painful divorce and then been hit with the cancer, if she anticipated
further sexual activity. He took her not surprisingly negative answer at its
face value and sewed her up so tightly that such activity was indeed all but
impossible, to her much later distress.
Senior Lurker
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