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>> Subject: The Robbery
>>
>> A guy in a balaclava bursts into a sperm bank with a shotgun. 'Open
>> the
>> fucking safe' he yells at the girl behind the counter. 'Its not a
>> real
>> bank Sir, there's no money here' she exclaims. Just open the damn
>> safe'
>> he says 'Or I'll blow your fucking head off'. The girl opens the safe
>>
>> door and the guy says 'Take out one of the bottles and drink it' 'But
>>
>> its full of sperm' she replies. 'Dont fucking argue, just drink it'
>> he
>> says. She prises off the cap and downs the contents. 'Take out nother
>>
>> and drink that too' he says. The lady obliges and necks the bottle
>> again. Suddenly the guy pulls off his balaclava and the girl is
>> amazed
>> to be looking at her husband. 'There - its not so fucking hard, is
>> it?'
The Dick Transplant
Jack goes to the doctor and says "Doc, I'm having trouble getting my penis
erect. Can you help me?" After a complete examination the doctor tells Jack,
"Well the problem with you is that the muscles around the base of your penis
are damaged. There's really nothing I can do for you except to try an
experimental treatment."
Jack asks ,"What is the treatment?"
"Well," the Doctor explains, "what we would do is take the muscles from the
trunk of a baby elephant and implant them in your penis."
Jack thinks about it silently then says, "Well the thought of going through
life without ever having sex again is too much, let's go for it."
A few weeks after the operation, Jack was given the green light to use his
improved equipment. He planned a romantic evening for his girlfriend and
took her to one of the nicest restaurants in the city. In the middle of
dinner he felt a stirring between his legs that continued to the point of
being painful.
To release the pressure Jack unzipped his fly. His penis immediately sprung
from his trousers, went to the top of the table, grabbed a bread roll and
then returned to his trousers. His girlfriend was stunned at first but then
said with a sly smile, "That was incredible! Can you do it again?"
Jack replied with his eyes watering, "Well, I think so, but I don't think I
can fit another roll up my arse."
Patrick Pearson
Surgery
The Longcroft Clinic Tel 01737 359332
Banstead, Surrey Fax 01737 370835
SM7 3HH
Home
20 Myrtle Road Tel 0181 643 8680
Sutton, Surrey
SM1 4BX
e-mail [log in to unmask]
" nil illegitimi carborundum"
>>
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