Got this one from a retired policeman:-
Man goes to his doctor's surgery with a painful elbow, hasn't been for years.
Arrives at reception, a computer screen has the following message:-
"Welcome to your fully computerised surgery. There are no doctors, nurses or
indeed any other staff. They have been replaced by the most modern computers
with state of the art diagnostic and treatment systems."
"Please go down the corridor and enter the second door on the left."
Impressed the bloke goes the corridor and enters the room as instructed.
He is greeted by another computer. The message on the screen says:-
"Please enter your name and date of birth using my keyboard."
So the bloke does this.
The screen goes blank, followed by the next message.
"Please urinate into the tray on your left."
A tray pops out in front of him.
Dead impressed now he does as instructed.
The tray disappears and the computer screen starts to flash with
numbers/characters/etc.
After a minute the screen clears and another message appears:-
"You have tennis elbow. Take these tablets three times a day."
A bottle of tablets appears in a different tray.
Completely impressed the bloke takes the bottle of tablets and leaves the
surgery.
One week later and his elbow is no better, in fact its worse. He's very
disgruntled with his computer-doctor and decides to get his own back.
He asks his wife to pee into a bottle. Adds some of his dog's excretement.
Adds some oil from his cars engine. And finally masturbates into it.
He takes the mixture back to the surgery and goes into the computer-doctor room.
He types in his name and date of birth as instructed and again he is asked
to urinate into the tray. He pours in the mixture.
The computer screen is again covered by lots of flashing numbers and
characters. It takes a bit longer this time. Finally:-
"I have your results."
"Your wife is six months pregnant."
"Your dog has rabies"
"The big end on your car is going."
"If you don't stop masturbating your tennis elbow will never get better."
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Dr David J Plews
email: [log in to unmask]
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