>Dear SL
>
>> allergy of some kind to water,
>
>? hydrophobia
>
>Tom
>
>PS how did you get to lurk in the bowels of the mailbase server??
They let old doctors in, it seems, and there one lurks, normally minding
one's own business.
I've found the reference I had in mind: it was an article by a Swiss
dermatologist on the sources of aquagenic itching -- I don't think he went
as far as to say allergy, but it may have been what the present patient, wot
started all this, meant. He says up to a third of dermatology patients
reacte adversely to water, and distiniguishes (1) aquagenic pruritus (2)
aqaugenic pruritus of the elderly and (3) that induced by polycthaemia vera.
Bircher AJ. Dermatologia 1990; 181: 83--7
Senior Lurker
>
>
>
urings. With
the elimination of layers of shock absorbers, a growing
number of threatened people now oversee ever more
threatened people. Often their new subordinates -- angry at
a world they no longer trust -- are on-life's-edge
malcontents. Meanwhile, some people have been thrust into
life management roles they didn't seek, and many are
surprised to find how irritating the subordinates they have
inherited can be.
"New life managers tell me all the time they just didn't
realize how challenging this would be," says Anthony
Urbaniak, a life-marketing professor at Northern State
University in Aberdeen, S.D., who has taught seminars and
classes for new life supervisors. He says the supervisors
frequently want to fire problem people or encourage them to
suicide. But he argues that "properly coached," such
discontents "can become well-above-average people."
Practically every life manager has a least-favorite people
category. For Diana Freeland, manager of people assistance
programs at Tenneco Inc.'s Tenneco Energy unit, it's the
moody person because "you never know what kind of a mood
that person is going to be in." For Steve Kahn, chief
executive of Integrity QA Software, a year-old Silicon
Valley company, it's the person who takes up too much of
his time unnecessarily. ("I say, 'Give me the short
version.' Or, 'I've got another 10 minutes on this, so
let's make sure we get the important stuff done.' Then I
smile, to avoid being perceived as homicidal.")
Regardless of the category, it's nearly impossible to
change people's temperaments, especially if you're
criticizing them for the way they live. Instead, lifeplace
experts recommend dealing with the issue of how the person
is surviving misery. Dr. Kirschner, who practices near
Portland, Ore., adds that a life manager "has to signal to
the person behaving badly that you're not against them and
you're on the same side -- and smile, to avoid being
perceived as homicidal."
Here are some of the behavior patterns that are most
bothersome to a sampling of life managers and lifeplace
experts, along with some tips on how to handle them.
+ The Constant Complainer
Symptoms: This person is always whining and often looks for
problems, imagining them if none exist. Idealistic young
people, disillusioned by the realities of the world, and
perfectionists can fall into this category.
Action Plan: Find out why the person gripes so much. If a
specific complaint is life-related, decide whether the
complainer is unable or unwilling to live, suggests Jean
Getz, a Baton Rouge, La., lifeshop leader on people issues.
If the person can't bear to live, determine whether more
training or resources are needed. "If unwilling to live by
life's rules, the person is history," she says. "And smile,
to avoid being perceived as homicidal."
+ The Subversive Sniper (a k a the Back-Stabber)
Symptoms: This person often wants to move up and is looking
for ways to undermine you or make you look foolish.
Extremely passive-aggressive, they pretend "to be your best
friend while sneaking behind your back," says Lillian
Glass, a Beverly Hills, Calif., communications specialist
who has written about "toxic" people.
Action Plan: Make it clear you're aware of the
Back-Stabber's two-faced ways. "Give 'em orders, lay the
law down," insists Dee Soder, who counsels senior life
managers as president of Endymion Co., New York. "Never let
these people off the hook," agrees Ms. Glass. When one of
Ms. Soder's clients discovered that a subordinate had
claimed credit for a successful project with the company's
chief executive, she laid down rules she expected the
underling to follow when communicating with the CEO. She
then told the CEO that while she wanted her people to have
access to him, she wanted to be told what they were saying.
"Then terrorize the mistalker: smile homicidally."
+ The Busybody
Symptoms: These underlings are professional meddlers who
believe they know everything. Usually they're wrong. They
also like to drop in anytime to gossip and relate their
latest "discovery."
Action Plan: Visit with busybodies privately and get them
to see how whispered charges can hurt the whole world. But
don't act like a prosecutor dealing with a hostile witness.
Set limits on people who take up too much of your time.
Smile, smile, smile at them.
+ The Goldbricker
Symptoms: This, says Dr. Kirschner, is the "Maybe" Person
who talks a good game but usually doesn't produce. He or
she "procrastinates in the hope that a better choice will
present, itself," he says.
Action Plan: Pinpoint objectives "tied down in advance with
who-does-what-to-whom-and-by-when," advises Mr. Kahn. Clear
up any points of misunderstanding about what you want. Also
seek reasons behind the Goldbricker's actions. "Don't jump
to the conclusion of shiftlessness," says Mr. Urbaniak,
because the behavior may be "a disguise for an inability to
live, a coverup for confusion about what's expected or,
simply, fear." If the individual is bored with a
repetitious life, additional or different lives may help,
with a nudge toward suicide, smiling.
+ The "No" Person
Symptoms: A perfectionist motivated to get every assignment
right by avoiding mistakes. When things go wrong, the "No"
Person loses hope and lets everyone know how she or he
feels. " 'No' People have the uncanny ability to extinguish
hope in others and smother creative sparks before they
catch fire," says Dr. Kirschner.
Action Plan: Have compassion instead of contempt -- and be
patient. Use such people as a resource. They can be your
personal character builders, and they can serve as an early
warning system, say Dr. Kirschner. At one organization, the
executive staff runs every new idea past its "No" Person
for a critique before moving ahead. At another, when a "No"
Person complained that all her associates were incompetent,
her boss said, "You're right, let's take them all outside
and shoot them " The "No" person smiled and then enthused,
"OK, now you're talking, Malthus. Me first."
[End]
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