Our Probus Club secretary is keeping us cheered up during this awful time, and circulated what seemed like a crude American ramble with a vague resemblance to Kipling's 'If'. It had no rhythm or rhyme, so I have changed it into a structure with better rhythm. But the rhyme is still lacking, so any members are free to make improvements. Anyway, I think Kipling might have been amused by it.
IF
If you can start the day without strong coffee,
If you are cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you don't complain, or bore us with your troubles,
But eat the same food every day and show your thanks,
If you can understand when family members
Are much too busy to give you any time,
If you can take complaints without resentment,
And conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without the need for alcohol,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!
And you thought I was going to get all spiritual ...
Just handle stressful situations like a dog.
If you can't eat or drink or play with it,
Just turn and pee on it and walk away.
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