I know you will probably take issue with this sort of advice, Doug, but I
do think there needs be two ‘parts’ to the haiku so perhaps yours could
accrete the bird imagery and after the cut, the moon?
Michael Dylan Welch
<http://www.graceguts.com/essays/traditional-and-modern-haiku-a-vibrant-dichotomy>,
Adjunct Poetry Professor for the Northwest Institute of Literary Arts:
"Most Western literary haiku poets have rejected the 5-7-5- syllable
pattern. ...The poem gains its energy by the intuitive or emotional leap
that occurs in the space between the poem's two parts, in the gap of what's
deliberately left out. ...The art of haiku lies in creating exactly that
gap, in leaving something out, and in dwelling in the cut that divides the
haiku into its two energizing parts."
Bill
On Thu, 28 May 2020 at 6:41 am, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]>
wrote:
> somewhere a bird sings
> while moon hides behind a cloud
> lonesome is the cry
>
>
> Douglas Barbour
> [log in to unmask]
> https://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/
>
> Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuations
> 2 (UofAPress).
> Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
> Listen. If (UofAPress):
>
>
>
> When thugs were in power, educated people were the first
> to feel their fists. It was so pathetic, really, how so much violence
> came from someone feeling small. Small of mind, and it did not
> matter how big the sword in hand, that essential smallness remained,
> gnawing with very sharp teeth.
>
> the scholar Janath Anar
> in Steven Eerikson’s Reaper’s Gale
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ########################################################################
>
> To unsubscribe from the POETRYETC list, click the following link:
> https://www.jiscmail.ac.uk/cgi-bin/webadmin?SUBED1=POETRYETC&A=1
>
> This message was issued to members of www.jiscmail.ac.uk/POETRYETC, a
> mailing list hosted by www.jiscmail.ac.uk, terms & conditions are
> available at https://www.jiscmail.ac.uk/policyandsecurity/
>
########################################################################
To unsubscribe from the POETRYETC list, click the following link:
https://www.jiscmail.ac.uk/cgi-bin/webadmin?SUBED1=POETRYETC&A=1
This message was issued to members of www.jiscmail.ac.uk/POETRYETC, a mailing list hosted by www.jiscmail.ac.uk, terms & conditions are available at https://www.jiscmail.ac.uk/policyandsecurity/
|