Well, I realise, Patrick, I am seeking to be a bit artful but this is
closer to the observed experience than my first version so I think I’ll let
it lie.
Bill
On Fri, 31 Jan 2020 at 10:31 pm, Patrick McManus <
[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> my halfpenny -I find
>
> his father who art watchful.
> a bit awkward I realise it has religious overtones (maybe because I am
> old atheist!) perhaps it is a bit tongue in cheek have you tried other
> lines 'who art' tricky -best wishes Patrick
>
> On 31/01/2020 02:51, Bill Wootton wrote:
> > Thanks, Andrew. Last line a touch more providential?
> >
> > Bill
> >
> > On Fri, 31 Jan 2020 at 1:45 pm, Andrew Burke <[log in to unmask]>
> wrote:
> >
> >> Yes, I like the final draft - good poem, Bill.
> >>
> >>
> >> On Fri, 31 Jan 2020 at 03:33, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]>
> >> wrote:
> >>
> >>> Thanks, Doug.
> >>>
> >>> Bill
> >>>
> >>> On Fri, 31 Jan 2020 at 5:56 am, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]>
> >>> wrote:
> >>>
> >>>> Well, I like this, Bill. I didn’t check what Spell Check did, I meant
> >> to
> >>>> say, ‘but I wonder if you need the final stanza’…
> >>>>
> >>>> Jeez.
> >>>>
> >>>> Doug
> >>>>
> >>>>> On Jan 29, 2020, at 3:23 PM, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]>
> >>>> wrote:
> >>>>> Agree on locks, Doug, but owner, Doug? Try this:
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Providence 2
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>> The young boy swings his leg back and over,
> >>>>>
> >>>>> kicks down his bike stand,
> >>>>>
> >>>>> peels off his plastic helmet.
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>> He surveys the crowd,
> >>>>>
> >>>>> steps forward
> >>>>>
> >>>>> straight into and over his bike.
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Two hands reach down
> >>>>>
> >>>>> and pluck boy from bike -
> >>>>>
> >>>>> his father who art watchful.
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>> bw
> >>>>>
> >>>>> 30.1.20
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Try this:
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>> On Thu, 30 Jan 2020 at 4:02 am, Douglas Barbour <
> >> [log in to unmask]>
> >>>>> wrote:
> >>>>>
> >>>>>> Yeah, I like the view, Bill, but wasn’t sure about ‘locks’ & owner
> >> if
> >>>> you
> >>>>>> need the fine stanza, at least as is…
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> Doug
> >>>> Douglas Barbour
> >>>> [log in to unmask]
> >>>> https://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/
> >>>>
> >>>> Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations &
> >> Continuations
> >>>> 2 (UofAPress).
> >>>> Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
> >>>> Listen. If (UofAPress):
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> Done in by creation itself.
> >>>>
> >>>> I mean the gods. Not us. Well us too.
> >>>> The gods moved into books. Who wrote the books?
> >>>> We wrote the books. In whose dream, then are we dreaming?
> >>>>
> >>>> Robert Kroetsch
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >> ########################################################################
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> >>>>
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> >>>
> >>
> >> --
> >> Andrew
> >> http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
> >> Books available through Walleah Press
> >> http://walleahpress.com.au
> >>
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