Thanks, Doug. I have had a go at rewriting this using the rhyme scheme
Frost used on Stopping by Woods but at this stage the rhymes (a,a,b,a) look
too forced and it looks like I am suggesting JJ suicided, which is not the
case as far as I know. I do think the Frosty guy in the cart may be
contemplating such however.
Bill
On Thu, 14 Nov 2019 at 3:20 am, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]>
wrote:
> A moving metaphor in the real, Bill, & layered as Sheila says…
>
> Doug
>
> > On Nov 13, 2019, at 3:37 AM, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]>
> wrote:
> >
> > Could be right, Patrick.
> >
> > Might go with:
> >
> > Ten year shirt 2
> >
> >
> > How could I have known
> >
> > that this shirt,
> >
> > dark and unremarkable,
> >
> > would outlive the Timorese boy
> >
> > who said Cool shirt, Sir,
> >
> > ten years ago
> >
> > when I wore it for the first time
> >
> > into the High Achievers
> >
> > Year 8 class at Resa High?
> >
> >
> > It took Facebook
> >
> > to tell me that JJ
> >
> > had drowned,
> >
> > years after leaving school,
> >
> > having established himself
> >
> > as a lively hiphop performer.
> >
> >
> > His older sister Tina,
> >
> > electing to ‘do an oral’
> >
> > on the contentious issue
> >
> > of refugee boat arrivals,
> >
> > had deftly leaned the lectern
> >
> > all the way to the floor,
> >
> > before straddling the stand
> >
> > and mock rowing throughout
> >
> > her presentation.
> >
> >
> > Shirt now faded and frayed,
> >
> > one slight tear in the pocket
> >
> > but still fit for gardening.
> >
> > Is it, I recall JJ asking,
> >
> > when it came time for him
> >
> > to do his oral,
> >
> > OK to sing it?
> >
> >
> > My word it was.
> >
> >
> > Bill
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Bill
>
> Douglas Barbour
> [log in to unmask]
> https://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/
>
> Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuations
> 2 (UofAPress).
> Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
> Listen. If (UofAPress):
>
>
> Swept snow, Li Po,
> by dawn’s 40-watt moon
> to the road that hies to office
> away from home.
>
> Lorine Niedecker
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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>
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>
>
>
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