I especially like the build up of this
Emerging from pockets
>
> keys advance on locks
>
>
> Locks make walls
>
> of doors and windows
Was kind of prepped (anticipating?) ready to read. . .
and windows /.. . .
Like in a sequence. If that makes sense? But I like the line changes you made Sheila!
Mill
-----Original Message-----
From: Sheila Murphy <[log in to unmask]>
To: POETRYETC <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Tue, Jun 11, 2019 9:31 pm
Subject: Re: Keys
Bill,
This is an intriguing piece, and it goes to a fundamental reality and
pattern many engage in quite unconsciously without recognizing what is
going on.
Permit me to offer an alternative approach using your own lines and see how
you think of this. You'll note that what I'm after is no explanation, just
showing and allowing what you show to be powerful. Not sure about the
ending.
Emerging from pockets
>
> keys advance on locks
>
>
> Locks make walls
>
> of doors and windows
>
>
> Firm male metal slides
>
> into the receptive latch
>
>
> fills the aperture
>
> penetrates the wall
>
>
> with a permissive click
>
> enabling wider openings
>
>
> [ENDING NOT SURE ABOUT]
>
> bw
>
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