I like it a lot, Jill, too. The accumulation of the similes in waiting so to speak; how it comes to ‘you,’ but won’t stay there. & its music, as Sheila says…
That’s an interesting response/edit, Andrew, but in this case I’m not sure the cutting was needed…
Doug
> On Oct 3, 2018, at 2:30 AM, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> Fascinating, Jill. I love the kangaroo rearranging the grass image and
> shade becoming ground. Andrew’s version picks the eyes out of it to
> reassemble the poem. Be interested to see your response. Wasn’t sure about
> ‘grass fog’. Love the sense of watching and settling in.
>
> Bill
>
> On Wed, 3 Oct 2018 at 5:10 pm, Patrick McManus <
> [log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
>> Thanks Jill all that movement and settling !
>>
>> P bit dusty myself
>>
>>
>> On 03/10/2018 05:38, Sheila Murphy wrote:
>>> Jill,
>>>
>>> The architectural delicacy of this piece honors its music. Thank you for
>>> the very satisfying sense of landing in the repetition of end words in
>>> lines two and three in the early stanzas of the poem.
>>>
>>> Magical and profound.
>>>
>>> Sheila
>>>
>>> On Tue, Oct 2, 2018 at 9:29 PM Jill Jones <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>>>
>>>>
>>>> AS DUST SUNG
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> as you fly over the ranges
>>>>
>>>> as you unroll under clouds
>>>>
>>>> as the crow ranges under the clouds
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> as the kangaroo rearranges the grass
>>>>
>>>> as the rabbit rearranges dust
>>>>
>>>> as sounds of afternoon gather among dust
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> as tree light moves
>>>>
>>>> as shadows fly across a wall
>>>>
>>>> as shades become ground
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> as all arrangements settle and unsettle
>>>>
>>>> you, as you to the day’s dusk sound
>>>>
>>>> as doors, paths, sing song
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> as you remember what you knew
>>>>
>>>> as you arrange grass fog at the door
>>>>
>>>> as you renew what’s to hand in the night
>>>>
>>>> (a snap from last week but I was on the move in the
>> countryside and
>>>> not much near computer or wifi)
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
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Douglas Barbour
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https://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/
Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuations 2 (UofAPress).
Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
Listen. If (UofAPress):
Someone to talk to, for God’s sake, some-
thing to love that will never hit back
Phyllis Webb
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