I understand.
I tried to second guess it but could not...
I think I'll sidestep "now". I have been trying to avoid its affectionate
embrace through several other poems today. But what about "And", the
biblical and rather than the comma substitute?
I'll think on this and make my final.... my new version on Thursday or
Friday
Thank you for the thought
L
On 8 November 2017 at 15:17, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Not looking carefully, L. I meant ‘Now’ for ‘Yet’. Sorry. )I’d like to
> claim ‘typo,’ but it’s just plain dumb.)
>
> D
> > On Nov 8, 2017, at 8:15 AM, Lawrence Upton <[log in to unmask]>
> wrote:
> >
> > Your inferences are almost certainly correct, Sir.
> > & I am open to suggestions. My difficulty is that the word "if" does not
> > occur in my poem.
> >
> > ?
> >
> > L
> >
> > On 8 November 2017 at 15:08, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]>
> wrote:
> >
> >> Ah, yes, I like some implied ironies there, Lawrence (well, I infer
> such),
> >> as well as the stated possibilities. (I wonder if another ‘Now’ instead
> of
> >> ‘If’ in the final stanza would hit a bit harder?)
> >>
> >> Doug
> >>> On Nov 8, 2017, at 2:26 AM, Lawrence Upton <[log in to unmask]>
> >> wrote:
> >>>
> >>> We've made revolution!
> >>>
> >>> Now we have a vision,
> >>>
> >>> we'll surely come to good.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> We had been doing much
> >>>
> >>> who were put to make goods
> >>>
> >>> which made few others rich.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> Those rich are not like us.
> >>>
> >>> Not now. Not any more.
> >>>
> >>> Each one of them is changed.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> Yet they enrich soils,
> >>>
> >>> doing something for *us*,
> >>>
> >>> with no effort-making.
> >>
> >> Douglas Barbour
> >> [log in to unmask]
> >> https://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/
> >>
> >> Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations &
> Continuations
> >> 2 (UofAPress).
> >> Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
> >> Listen. If (UofAPress):
> >>
> >> There was the usual amount of corruption, intimidation, and rioting.
> >>
> >> Sir Charles Petrie
> >>
>
> Douglas Barbour
> [log in to unmask]
> https://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/
>
> Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuations
> 2 (UofAPress).
> Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
> Listen. If (UofAPress):
>
>
> There was the usual amount of corruption, intimidation, and rioting.
>
> Sir Charles Petrie
>
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