Hi Doug, thanks - and for the suggestion, think that may be a good
idea.
Connections ... everywhere ... and each day brings more (too many)
Best,
Jill
________________________
Jill Jones
www.jilljones.com.au
Latest book: Brink, Five Islands Press
http://fiveislandspress.com/catalogue/brink-jill-jones
----- Original Message -----
From: "Poetryetc: poetry and poetics"
To:
Cc:
Sent:Wed, 4 Oct 2017 09:27:01 -0600
Subject:Re: Snap: 'Teen Charged With Attempted Murder'
Jill, read yours before seeing Bill’s, so was just surfing the
shifts, & finding them provocative & powerful. How the mind tries to
deal, cant, does.
Stands alone, but the connections also, with both world news& the
earlier poem.
I’d drop that ‘is’ in line 2, I think.
Doug
> On Oct 4, 2017, at 3:47 AM, Patrick McManus wrote:
>
> Hi Jill thanks I enjoyed the two threads playing-form
>
> reminds me of 'naming of parts ' Henry Reed
>
>
> On 04/10/2017 03:13, Jill Jones wrote:
>> ‘Teen Charged With Attempted Murder’
>>
>> The cops stare at the ground
>>
>> Mess is splayed round the empty plaza
>>
>>
>> All this waiting here too for plants
>>
>>
>> Among the pink bottlebrush
>>
>> bees carry bright yellow pollen
>>
>> Is it heavy?
>>
>>
>> My shirt looks like some team’s colours
>>
>> if you mistake blue for black
>>
>>
>> ‘It’s what you’re brought up with’
>>
>>
>> Two old guys in the front yard
>>
>> rake coals, prepare a raw dead animal
>>
>> for the spit cartons of wine
>>
>>
>> The teenager was carrying ‘some kind of weapon’
>>
>> What we now call a gun?
>>
>>
>> I am trying to ignore football mania
>>
>>
>> We found one dead bee in the bird bath
>>
>> and we were sad
>>
>>
>> ‘a history of mental illness’
>>
>>
>> ‘Are you a Richmond supporter?’
>>
>>
>> We don’t want more bees dying
>>
>>
>> recklessly so they tasered him
>>
>> ________________________
>> Jill Jones
>> www.jilljones.com.au
>>
>> Latest book: Brink, Five Islands Press
>> http://fiveislandspress.com/catalogue/brink-jill-jones
>>
Douglas Barbour
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https://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/
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