From: Andile Gininda
Sent: Tuesday, April 18, 2017 11:27 AM
To: 'Tom Wengraf'; [log in to unmask]
Subject: RE: books for children, class gender race
Tom,
Your response set well with me. I am touched by the way you give a reply but that is not pushy or one-directional. You gave me an idea to think ‘out of the box’.
If I were to answer in a biological science way, I would say it is just an ecological cycle( in an ecosystem) that makes people to die so that they will make the soil fertile, decrease Carbon Dioxide formation since living people( or animals) release the gas, and make plants grow, which will be eaten by herbivores that are in turn eaten by omnivores……………….but obviously that answer would be to a school-going child.
It is such a privilege to get to the mind of a 78 year old. I can only hope I will reach those years and have at least half you mind take!
Thanks
From: Tom Wengraf [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
Sent: Tuesday, April 18, 2017 11:05 AM
To: Andile Gininda; [log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Re: books for children, class gender race
Dear Adeel and Andile
I very much liked your question, or rather that of the child, and I find myself wondering (at the age of 78) how best to answer it...... or perhaps how differently to answer it if one knew what the concern was of the child when and as the question was put.
Obviously, I'm in no position to know that, and even as a parent of a young child (when I was one) one certainly can't always find out the personal-historical circumstance or worry that led to the asking of the question.
If I was asked now that question by a small child, I would start by gently trying to get a sense of any worry or concern that lay behind the asking that question at this particular time.
If I did get a response which gave me a clue about that, then that might well guide me in my more general answer. I would not be surprised if I did not. It could be a remartk on the radio, for example...
Assuming that I didn't find anything out about the personal-historical circumstances behind the questioning, I think I might answer with one or more of the elements below:
"People don't "have to die" they just do. Some die because they get hurt by other people (in traffic accidents, in wars); others because they just catch a disease and gets sick; others die because they get very old and their bodies just don't want to go on.
But dying – especially in a good way – can also be a good thing. If everybody who ever lived was still alive, we would all be squashed as tight as sardines on this earth, and that way nobody could have very much of a good time. Also, without new people it's very hard to get very new ideas, and so new ideas would find it much harder to come into being. A final reason for not thinking that death is just a bad thing is that, since we know we are all likely to die at some point, that makes us value the time that we have alive much more. Knowing about death (our own and other people's) makes living precious and tells us to use our living-time as well as possible".
Whether any of this in any form is any use I haven't the slightest idea! But thanks for raising the issue.
Tom
On Tue, Apr 18, 2017 at 6:59 AM, Andile Gininda <[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>> wrote:
I find it so interesting and pure the way children as questions, relate to others and just say what's in their minds. I think that is being so real and pure....unlike us, adults.
We find it difficult to answer because we try so hard to tell them what we think they want to hear and not what is true or real. I cannot recall the number of times I have lied to my son, thinking it is good for him and only to find out that I am installing a culture of lying at this early age. That is just the first part of it. The second part is that I forget all these so called ' white lies' and he reminds me while I am busy figuring out another lie. It is so embarrassing!!
He is only 4 years old and ever since I began telling him more honest answers, I can see a little bit of trust in his eyes. It does not help that I am also a child & adolescent development student, and I am supposed to know all these things about age-appropriate answers - of which I don’t! So, I tell him, ' mommy is also still trying to figure that one out but while I am busy working on it then maybe we can also look for answers together....' he then smiles. That look is priceless.
So my answer is, sometimes you do not need to answer certain types of questions just like the books, magazines, society or even your beliefs expect you or has programmed you to answer those questions. If you are not sure yourself, then it may be the best thing to explain your position. At least it is not an exam where you will get a correct mark for each correct question. Instead it is your life experience that you will get a mark for your honesty!
Please bear with me, I think I am a writer in progress......so I like to give out these long, boring answers. It is my personal exercise to see how people will view my writing.
Rgd
-----Original Message-----
From: The Anthropology-Matters forum mailing list [mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>] On Behalf Of adeel khan
Sent: Friday, April 14, 2017 2:14 PM
To: [log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Re: books for children, class gender race
My nephew has been asking me about why people have to die? How does one adequately respond... given that even adults have not figured out the answer to that one yet.
On Apr 14, 2017 1:11 PM, "adeel khan" <[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>> wrote:
> While we are on this most useful discussion. Any suggestions on how to
> communicate with younger beings about race, gender, class?
>
> any advice would be most helpful.
> Thank you,
> Adeel Khan
>
> On Apr 12, 2017 7:30 PM, "adeel khan" <[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>> wrote:
>
>> For islam i recommend the following:
>>
>> Freely available on kindle
>>
>> Witty humour of mulla nasruddin
>>
>> https://www.amazon.co.uk/Wits-Mulla-Nasruddin-Illustrated-Fo
>> lklore-ebook/dp/B00YDCSRG0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1492021685
>> &sr=8-1&keywords=mulla+nasruddin+illustrated
>>
>> warmly,
>> adeel khan
>> Cambridge
>>
>
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