Well, both streams (as defined by Bill) can be made to plait together to
arrive at greater strength for the narrative. And the young man's interest
in breasts could be set up earlier, coming to the only interest in 'old'
age being telling the fake ones from the youthful natural ones!
I think it is a draft of a very good poem, one to be worked on somewhat
objectively.
Andrew
On 8 September 2016 at 09:19, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Interesting, Max, if overly meanderful I think. I liked the opening five
> stanzas best and the dawning Fascist moment at assembly. The
> goofy classmate fight loses its way for me and the beach stuff at the end
> sounds like a rambling postscript. Maybe there are two poems here: one on
> calves or lack thereof and one on surprising military acumen, aspiration,
> disappointment.
>
> Bill
>
> On Thursday, 8 September 2016, Max Richards <[log in to unmask]>
> wrote:
>
> > School Socks and Calves
> >
> > Calf-high socks in the ’fifties
> > were Auckland school uniform.
> > The socks on short strong Chris Brown
> > stayed up while mine slipped down.
> >
> > He aspired to lead, became
> > Regimental Sergeant Major
> > of our Cadet Battalion -
> > on then to Duntroon,
> >
> > Sandhurst of our region.
> > I liked Cadets - not so much
> > the drill as the weapons,
> > old rifles, and Bren Guns.
> >
> > Firing twenty-twos on
> > the school rifle range was
> > the only sport I did well in.
> > I even won a prize -
> >
> > for coming third:
> > Tom Brown’s Schooldays.
> > Rugby School! - long pants
> > and facing up to bullies.
> >
> > Of which we had our share.
> > I bring to mind M.A.G.Bell
> > spoiling for an unfair fight
> > during the lunch-hour
> >
> > with my goofy classmate,
> > John, Christian, splayed feet,
> > turning the other cheek -
> > he'd not, provoked, hit back.
> >
> > Bell’s socks flopped below
> > his sturdy calves to show
> > defiance of rules -
> > rules policed by prefects
> >
> > selected each year from
> > those senior boys who
> > had a bossy streak or
> > excelled at sport.
> >
> > Brown, you’re one!
> > To my surprise I also
> > got the silver badge.
> > Should have said no.
> >
> > It was my keenness
> > on Cadets, always
> > wearing my cap straight,
> > and my socks up,
> >
> > thanks to Mum’s elastic.
> > My calves alone never
> > achieved the trick.
> > Bossiness I was bad at,
> >
> > but liked morning assembly,
> > standing on a box up front,
> > towering over third-formers,
> > themselves still boy sopranos,
> >
> > baritone-bellowing ‘School, stand!’
> > as the Head in black gown
> > swept in with a train
> > of black-gowned masters
> >
> > to sit on stage behind him.
> > ‘School, sit!’ Restlessness
> > quelled by my voice!
> > It was my Fascist moment.
> >
> > Luckily the Army, needing
> > for Anzac Day a squad
> > of those proven good
> > at drill, looked at a line of us
> >
> > for military bearing,
> > and de-selected me,
> > thanks to my skinniness.
> > A painful moment overdue.
> >
> > Chris. standing as tall as he
> > could, consoled me, smugly.
> > For years I stayed away
> > from every Anzac Day.
> >
> > Conscripted at eighteen
> > we weren’t issued shorts.
> > We bruised our shoulders
> > on Enfield three-o-threes;
> >
> > graduating in due course
> > to Army Reserve in years
> > of my lucky generation’s
> > rose-spectacled peace.
> >
> > My friends liked shorts,
> > I shielded my shy
> > calves from sunburn
> > and condescension
> >
> > and satirical snorts
> > till stiff senescence.
> > Now belated reports
> > reach me: Calf implants! -
> >
> > on men? Since when? Decades?
> > Too late for me, even back then.
> > The year I could see
> > I was growing up skinny -
> >
> > finding 'body-building’
> > quite beyond me -
> > was when I might have
> > dreamed of ‘surgery’,
> >
> > but for the expense.
> > The word now is ‘enhance’ -
> > Don’t even say ‘cosmetic’,
> > just: ‘had them enhanced’.
> >
> > How many fine calves
> > strutting the beach
> > now and in future years
> > are as false as the smiles
> >
> > stretching their face?
> > Or the reshaped chests
> > on their female friends?
> > Many? Not that nowadays
> >
> > I’m much on the beach
> > spying on bikini breasts -
> > or not that anyone - much -
> > can notice, I trust.
> >
>
--
Andrew
http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
Books available through Walleah Press
http://walleahpress.com.au
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