Ah, this too doesn’t quite get there, but it does get the difficulty of the waking mind trying to capture what the sleeping mind was up to, Max. So I like that aspect, & think it works as such…
Doug
> On Jun 2, 2016, at 9:59 PM, Max Richards <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> I have to agree with you, Andrew, about my undreamy tones, as Bill also noted.
> My hunch is that a little surrealism goes a long way in poetry, but that may just be me.
> I shall now copy in here an older attempt of mine…and I note the ‘actual’ dream is severely framed by my other standard discourse…
>
> Shake off that dream - in the dark
> I am mixing with gunrunners,
>
> who are mixing with terrorists, I guess,
> but fumbling for words I find also
>
> armament salesmen,
> freedom fighters.
>
> What is my dream-self’s complicity?
> Am I in it for money?
>
> No conversation takes place;
> my panic and recoil are swift and total:
>
> words form with effort: shake
> off that dream - day’s dawning.
>
> Max
Douglas Barbour
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https://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/
Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuations 2 (UofAPress).
Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
Automobile Accident
Not finding where the flowers were
he seized a tree.
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