O Bill I simply have never noticed before the phrase ‘shore break’.
Something to do with breakers, I guess.
M
On Feb 2, 2016, at 21:33, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Thanks, Sheila, Max.
>
> Not sure why 'shore break' bothers you, Max, 'so early'. It would be more
> acceptable later? I considered replacing 'shooting' but like its 'sh' sound
> and mean to imply ranging out from her body or sprouting, if you will. If
> the leg shot out quickly at first, that's as maybe.
>
> Anyway, I'm glad to have confirmation for excising 'around which' and have
> tinkered with fourth stanza to make the parting clearer.
>
> Bill
>
> She sits skewiff
>
> She sits skewiff,
> one leg shooting
> out to shore break,
> the other splayed
> sandwards.
>
> Played-out waves
> encircle her,
> an island
> of slump.
> Beach strollers
>
> diverge either side,
> seeing she's there
> for the duration.
> Her firstborn splashes
> in nearby shallows.
>
> Loose top semi-soaked,
> arms trawling wet
> sand runnels, facing
> sun full-on, she
> radiates surrender.
>
> bw
> 3.2.16
>
>
> On Wednesday, 3 February 2016, Sheila Murphy <[log in to unmask]>
> wrote:
>
>> Me, as well, for the alternative. This is a very rich piece. It's
>> evocative.
>>
>>
>> On Tue, Feb 2, 2016 at 5:10 PM, Andrew Burke <[log in to unmask]
>> <javascript:;>> wrote:
>>
>>> Yes, like the alternative better. That's my vote.
>>>
>>> Andrew
>>> <
>>>
>> https://www.avast.com/sig-email?utm_medium=email&utm_source=link&utm_campaign=sig-email&utm_content=webmail
>>>>
>>> This
>>> email has been sent from a virus-free computer protected by Avast.
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>>> <
>>>
>> https://www.avast.com/sig-email?utm_medium=email&utm_source=link&utm_campaign=sig-email&utm_content=webmail
>>>>
>>> <#DDB4FAA8-2DD7-40BB-A1B8-4E2AA1F9FDF2>
>>>
>>> On 3 February 2016 at 10:03, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]
>> <javascript:;>>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>>> She sits skewiff,
>>>> one leg shooting
>>>> out to shore break,
>>>> the other splayed
>>>> sandwards.
>>>>
>>>> Played-out waves
>>>> encircle her,
>>>> an island of slump,
>>>> around which
>>>> beach strollers divert.
>>>>
>>>> They can see
>>>> she's there for
>>>> the duration.
>>>> Her firstborn splashes
>>>> in nearby shallows.
>>>>
>>>> Loose top semi-soaked,
>>>> arms trawling wet
>>>> sand runnels, facing
>>>> sun full-on, she
>>>> radiates surrender.
>>>>
>>>> bw
>>>>
>>>> Just wondering, is 'around which' a shocker?
>>>>
>>>> Could be:
>>>>
>>>> Played-out waves
>>>> encircle her,
>>>> an island
>>>> of slump.
>>>> Beach strollers divert.
>>>>
>>>> Thoughts?
>>>>
>>>> Bill
>>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> --
>>> Andrew
>>> http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
>>> Books available through Walleah Press
>>> http://walleahpress.com.au
>>>
>>
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