Well, I agree with the others about losing that line.
Not sure if her leg is in the sea, or only stitching in that direction (as I too didn’t quite get 'shore break’.
A neat view, though.
Doug
> On Feb 3, 2016, at 2:36 AM, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> Surfable waves begin to break well out from shore, Max, in my experience
> and as a definition, I picture when a body surfer or board surfer finishes
> their ride and scrabbles to their feet; what keeps going, the rest of that
> wave's trajectory as it fizzles out in the shallows and ultimately sand, is
> 'shore break', when the wave no longer has power. Re-reading I can see how
> it might look like the woman's leg was the cause for shoring (as verb) the
> break I suppose. Googling, I find other definitions which seem to mean big
> breaking waves close to shore perhaps caused by a reef or the like.
>
> Maybe I had better play safe and adjust the verse to reflect more
> accurately the image for everyone: 'one leg/shooting out to sea'!
>
> Bill
>
> On Wednesday, 3 February 2016, Max Richards <[log in to unmask] <mailto:[log in to unmask]>>
> wrote:
>
>> O Bill I simply have never noticed before the phrase ‘shore break’.
>> Something to do with breakers, I guess.
>> M
>>
>> On Feb 2, 2016, at 21:33, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask] <mailto:[log in to unmask]>
>> <javascript:;>> wrote:
>>
>>> Thanks, Sheila, Max.
>>>
>>> Not sure why 'shore break' bothers you, Max, 'so early'. It would be
>> more
>>> acceptable later? I considered replacing 'shooting' but like its 'sh'
>> sound
>>> and mean to imply ranging out from her body or sprouting, if you will. If
>>> the leg shot out quickly at first, that's as maybe.
>>>
>>> Anyway, I'm glad to have confirmation for excising 'around which' and
>> have
>>> tinkered with fourth stanza to make the parting clearer.
>>>
>>> Bill
>>>
>>> She sits skewiff
>>>
>>> She sits skewiff,
>>> one leg shooting
>>> out to shore break,
>>> the other splayed
>>> sandwards.
>>>
>>> Played-out waves
>>> encircle her,
>>> an island
>>> of slump.
>>> Beach strollers
>>>
>>> diverge either side,
>>> seeing she's there
>>> for the duration.
>>> Her firstborn splashes
>>> in nearby shallows.
>>>
>>> Loose top semi-soaked,
>>> arms trawling wet
>>> sand runnels, facing
>>> sun full-on, she
>>> radiates surrender.
>>>
>>> bw
>>> 3.2.16
>>>
>>>
>>> On Wednesday, 3 February 2016, Sheila Murphy <[log in to unmask] <mailto:[log in to unmask]>
>> <javascript:;>>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>>> Me, as well, for the alternative. This is a very rich piece. It's
>>>> evocative.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> On Tue, Feb 2, 2016 at 5:10 PM, Andrew Burke <[log in to unmask] <mailto:[log in to unmask]>
>> <javascript:;>
>>>> <javascript:;>> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> Yes, like the alternative better. That's my vote.
>>>>>
>>>>> Andrew
>>>>> <
>>>>>
>>>>
>> https://www.avast.com/sig-email?utm_medium=email&utm_source=link&utm_campaign=sig-email&utm_content=webmail
>>>>>>
>>>>> This
>>>>> email has been sent from a virus-free computer protected by Avast.
>>>>> www.avast.com
>>>>> <
>>>>>
>>>>
>> https://www.avast.com/sig-email?utm_medium=email&utm_source=link&utm_campaign=sig-email&utm_content=webmail
>>>>>>
>>>>> <#DDB4FAA8-2DD7-40BB-A1B8-4E2AA1F9FDF2>
>>>>>
>>>>> On 3 February 2016 at 10:03, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]
>> <javascript:;>
>>>> <javascript:;>>
>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>> She sits skewiff,
>>>>>> one leg shooting
>>>>>> out to shore break,
>>>>>> the other splayed
>>>>>> sandwards.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Played-out waves
>>>>>> encircle her,
>>>>>> an island of slump,
>>>>>> around which
>>>>>> beach strollers divert.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> They can see
>>>>>> she's there for
>>>>>> the duration.
>>>>>> Her firstborn splashes
>>>>>> in nearby shallows.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Loose top semi-soaked,
>>>>>> arms trawling wet
>>>>>> sand runnels, facing
>>>>>> sun full-on, she
>>>>>> radiates surrender.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> bw
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Just wondering, is 'around which' a shocker?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Could be:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Played-out waves
>>>>>> encircle her,
>>>>>> an island
>>>>>> of slump.
>>>>>> Beach strollers divert.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Thoughts?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Bill
>>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> --
>>>>> Andrew
>>>>> http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
>>>>> Books available through Walleah Press
>>>>> http://walleahpress.com.au
Douglas Barbour
[log in to unmask]
https://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/
Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuations 2 (UofAPress).
Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
Done in by creation itself.
I mean the gods. Not us. Well us too.
The gods moved into books. Who wrote the books?
We wrote the books. In whose dream, then are we dreaming?
Robert Kroetsch.
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