Bill thanks as Max says a bit of spacing out helped me (in a manner of
speaking!)and snap is in there!cheers P
-----Original Message-----
From: Max Richards
Sent: Tuesday, December 15, 2015 11:15 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Bark
You like cramming perceptions in, and I respect that, Bill.
But I also feel you’d help readers like me
if you spaced them out a bit,
On Dec 15, 2015, at 13:57, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Kerthup pup whaaap.
> Sound of scraping thick
> tinder dry ribbons of pink bark
> high on lemon-scented gum trunk,
> dangling, doing the whip-wind
> driven thing, then draping
> curlily till the next gust.
>
> Tricky, seeking to snap free
> from home trunk cling.
> Swirling visits attest
> to ongoing attachments
> in familiar territories.
> After
> breakaway, how will it feel,
> silently floating?
>
> bw
No, I haven’t found an ideal layout, sorry. Over to you.
I do follow these dynamic images in their sequence,
making me see afresh what I’ve half noticed before.
Maybe the ‘swirling’ sentence just by being reflective
brings about a lowering of pressure and temperature,
a shade more than suits the poem.
Max
|