Looking at it again, I think that’s a good idea, Lawrence: leaves it p to the reader to wonder just what that smile indicates…
Still a sense of something dangerously off there….
Doug
> On Dec 14, 2015, at 3:23 AM, Lawrence Upton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> I didn't mean he. The poem goes back a few years. What may have been a
> trigger would be an enormous child with two enormous parents on a bus. Then
> there was another child... But the idea of children denting the world was
> with me.
> I don't know where flint came from. I live in a flinty area; but that
> provides familiarity, no more.
> Anyway, I'm deleting the last sentence -- the last half line
> Ta for your interest
>
> L
>
> On 11 December 2015 at 23:19, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
>> Well, L, maybe it's when they large up a bit or when they realise they can
>> leave a jarring mark on their environment ... at any rate I recognise that
>> glint, a word you don't ever get round to using here - and don't need to
>> - with the surprise use of flint as banging instrument. Not sure either of
>> whether you intended a deeper political import but Donald Trump springs to
>> mind.
>>
>> B
>>
>> On Friday, December 11, 2015, Lawrence Upton <[log in to unmask]>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> Yikes. I’m not sure about that final sentence, Lawrence; but can
>>> understand if you want the apparently objective distant it seems to
>>> mark. I think.
>>>
>>> And that sense of not being sure may be what the poem aims for…
>>>
>>>
>>> I'm not sure about it either.
>>> I rushed my selection...
>>> I have no aim what the poem aims for; and not much interest in poetry for
>>> objective distance.
>>> I am happy though to have elicited a "Yikes"
>>>
>>> L
>>>
>>>
>>> On 9 December 2015 at 16:39, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]
>>> <javascript:;>> wrote:
>>>
>>>> Yikes. I’m not sure about that final sentence, Lawrence; but can
>>>> understand if you want the apparently objective distant it seems to
>>> mark. I
>>>> think.
>>>>
>>>> And that sense of not being sure may be what the poem aims for…
>>>>
>>>> Doug
>>>>> On Dec 9, 2015, at 9:35 AM, Lawrence Upton <[log in to unmask]
>>> <javascript:;>>
>>>> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>> A large child drums on a tin can,
>>>>>
>>>>> the rhythms chaotic.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> He stops when people shout.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> It looks like a piece of flint
>>>>>
>>>>> he's holding: it’s rough
>>>>>
>>>>> and sparkling in bits of the light.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> He starts to smile. It is malevolent.
>>>>
>>>> Douglas Barbour
>>>> [log in to unmask] <javascript:;>
>>>> https://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/
>>>>
>>>> Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations &
>> Continuation
>>> 2
>>>> (UofAPress).
>>>> Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
>>>>
>>>> Done in by creation itself.
>>>>
>>>> I mean the gods. Not us. Well us too.
>>>> The gods moved into books. Who wrote the books?
>>>> We wrote the books. In whose dream, then are we dreaming?
>>>>
>>>> Robert Kroetsch.
>>>>
>>>
>>
Douglas Barbour
[log in to unmask]
https://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/
Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuation 2 (UofAPress).
Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
Done in by creation itself.
I mean the gods. Not us. Well us too.
The gods moved into books. Who wrote the books?
We wrote the books. In whose dream, then are we dreaming?
Robert Kroetsch.
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