I see the context for stanza one now that you have explained but it is
stanza two that grabs me, all that acceptance of and adoption of fridge as
pally. And those surprising similes. See Doug's point about deleting the
it's moments. Final stanza takes the poem somewhere else which enriches it.
Well done.
Bill
On Wednesday, October 7, 2015, Jill Jones <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> A Rising
>
>
>
> the sky’s getting close to Libra rising
>
> it doesn’t seem to have anything to do with balance or beauty
>
> is it a hustle, or a joke
>
> some kind of maintenance of the mundane
>
> another lie like any other lie
>
> whatever refusal or dance is needed
>
> as the wind suddenly turns into rain
>
> then just as suddenly subsides
>
> as necessity leads nowhere
>
> as effects are simply effects rather than evidence
>
> or a lead-in to an argument that might become reason
>
>
>
> the fridge hums
>
> it’s not mimicking the brief rain, it’s a machine
>
> but for a moment it almost sounds like
>
> a comrade, like a passing train
>
> or tinnitus, blood, a pen writing across a page
>
> any sound you could befriend
>
> anything that sounds like some dialogue
>
> you imagined when you imagined
>
> walking out into the world
>
>
>
> as if there were people
>
> as if trees grew out of deliberate earth
>
> and as if there was such a thing as singing
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