Max, this is a very engaging piece. No change suggested at all.
That said, I sometimes enjoy (just to see, to hear) switching stanzas
around, to discover the beyond-ness of the work.
A thought. :)
Thank you. Sheila
On Wed, Sep 9, 2015 at 7:39 AM, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]>
wrote:
> I like that finale, Max,& how you got there; but you’re in Seattle:
> 'unstoppable cold’? Not as we see it up here…
>
> Doug
> On Sep 9, 2015, at 8:21 AM, Max Richards <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> > Chestnuts
> >
> > Up in the park
> > you can recover
> > from the climb:
> >
> > perch on a bench,
> > drawing breath
> > beneath old trees,
> >
> > shielded from quick
> > time by their slowness.
> > Eye-catching, though,
> >
> > are darting squirrels
> > making leashed dogs lurch.
> > It’s chestnut-fall month,
> >
> > bountiful - stoop
> > for some shining
> > ones, pocket a few.
> >
> > Eye-catching above,
> > that staring owl
> > half-camouflaged,
> >
> > commandingly
> > poised, threatening
> > what? Look again -
> >
> > it’s not real - grey
> > plastic! - threat merely
> > to those deceived,
> >
> > and who are they?
> > Are they not welcome
> > to forage and hoard
> >
> > against the coming
> > unstoppable cold?
> > September’s stalled:
> >
> > clouds have stopped still
> > all day hereabouts
> > while time prepares
> >
> > its next push - owl
> > or no owl - tolerates
> > these squirrels, this
> >
> > old human with dog,
> > their nostalgic
> > harvest of chestnuts.
> >
> > Max in Seattle
>
> Douglas Barbour
> [log in to unmask]
>
> Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuation 2
> (UofAPress).
> Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
>
> Done in by creation itself.
>
> I mean the gods. Not us. Well us too.
> The gods moved into books. Who wrote the books?
> We wrote the books. In whose dream, then are we dreaming?
>
> Robert Kroetsch.
>
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