Hi Bill
Sorry to take so long replying. Been preoccupied with mundane things...
I *meant, though how would you know?, tear as in getting torn
I like it as a present tense of the verb, but that ain't what I meant
Torn eyes would, I suppose – thankfully I've never witnessed it – plop; but
it was *that experientially expected reality and the poem reality clashing
with it that I was after
I did pause in the writing over the reading amiguity and saw no way round
apart from a footnote – and saints or anyone else preserve us
I plan to read it unless someone gets the gag on me first and then there'd
be no ambiguity
& I don't want the text to be the cause of anything!!!! It's just there.
This and this and this, unconnected except by being in my sequence or if
you or anyone likes some kind of entanglement
That's on my mind, entanglement, because New Scientist blurbed something or
other about Einstein being proved wrong – and that turned out to be re his
dislike of the quantum and not of his main theses.
Sound as though I know what I am talking about don't I.... Exit pursued by
Schrodinger's cat
This was written not only before I read that but not really anything to do
with it. My mental world has its own weirdnesses
L
On 1 September 2015 at 22:57, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Like the title, L and the opening line. 'clatter' seems too heavy a verb,
> when it arrives, but I like the notion of tears melting and being nothing
> but distractions to a pebbled floor. Not sure of the couplet in the middle
> but I like also the final stanza and wonder whether you could open with
> this, so the shimmering, disappearing text becomes the cause of the tears?
>
> Bill
>
> > On 2 Sep 2015, at 3:46 am, Lawrence Upton <[log in to unmask]>
> wrote:
> >
> > Shaped mist forms a rip in curtaining
> >
> > eyes tear, falling, drip,
> > clatter, pebbles floored,
> > and melt – small distractions.
> >
> > Light scrips turn through the cavity,
> > partially notative, steadying rates.
> >
> > Air thickens
> > text shimmers
> > before disappearing.
> >
>
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