Yeah, imagist at work, Andrew…
Doug
On Aug 26, 2015, at 9:09 PM, Andrew Burke <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> to put the rose
> in water
> take off the last leaves
>
> throw its growing arms
> away
>
> make the rose fit
> our scheme of
> things
>
> ~
>
> Much more betterer! Thanks all who responded (and those who simply read it
> and moved on in disgust :-) )
>
> It may cover one request for a nature poem recently unfulfilled - that'd be
> great. So thanks again.
>
> Andrew
>
>
> On 27 August 2015 at 07:51, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
>> Like it, Andrew. Agree with L and D that is sharper without the final two
>> stanzas. L's suggestion to finish with 'rhythm' works for me. 'jazz' alone
>> introduces a different tone - depends what you're after; it's certainly a
>> bit 'wild'.
>>
>> The clouds of doubt stuff might suit another poem.
>>
>> Bill
>>
>>> On 26 Aug 2015, at 11:30 pm, Andrew Burke <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>>>
>>> to put the rose
>>> in water
>>> take off the last leaves
>>>
>>> throw its growing arms
>>> arms
>>>
>>> make the rose fit
>>> our scheme of
>>> things
>>>
>>> *
>>>
>>> give old doubt
>>> the chuck-out
>>> get into your own
>>> jazz rhythm
>>>
>>> rhythm-a-ling
>>> ring-a-ring
>>> a rosey
>>>
>>> when you
>>> are coming out
>>> of clouds of doubt
>>> you want to shout
>>> and play - okay,
>>> that is it day
>>> the end of play
>>>
>>> ~
>>>
>>> Just a page from a scrappy notebook, trying to get something going.
>>>
>>
Douglas Barbour
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Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuation 2 (UofAPress).
Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
Done in by creation itself.
I mean the gods. Not us. Well us too.
The gods moved into books. Who wrote the books?
We wrote the books. In whose dream, then are we dreaming?
Robert Kroetsch.
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