I enjoyed both versions, Sheila. But this one (a bit like Jill’s) takes the pronoun shifts a bit further.
There’s a gentle but solid movement to the whole…
Doug
On Aug 18, 2015, at 11:41 PM, Sheila Murphy <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> *I have changed it as you recommended, Andrew. Brilliant. MUCH better.
> Thank you! Sheila *
>
> *Smoke*
>
>
> Where she listens, her small breath
> is heard, not smoke, not voice,
> not thin wind, just the blend
> of each one being where they are
>
> Where she is, they are
> indistinguishable from the sound
> of thin smoke rising
> to the heat of afternoon
>
> Where they are, trees are,
> along the warm cement wall
> where they sit, and where she smokes
> the slender brand, this gentle afternoon
>
> Where they speak, they do not hear
> smoke rise toward the blue
> behind lace branches where the shadow
> mimics slight moves of receiving branches
>
> Sheila E. Murphy
Douglas Barbour
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Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuation 2 (UofAPress).
Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
Done in by creation itself.
I mean the gods. Not us. Well us too.
The gods moved into books. Who wrote the books?
We wrote the books. In whose dream, then are we dreaming?
Robert Kroetsch.
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